I just love a good dirty book. Recently my go-to dirty book has been Dirty Girls: Erotica for Women, edited by my pal Rachel Kramer Bussel.

This book traveled with me to a toddler class the other day. While my little ones sang, danced, painted and crafted, I sat on a bench outside of class and read dirty stories. “What are you reading?” one of the other mommies eventually asked me.

I’m sure I blushed. “Oh, it’s something for work,” I stammered, then handed it over to her. Eyes wide, she took in the cover photo (whoops, hadn’t noticed that barely-visible nipple before!), and then thumbed through the pages.

“This is for your work?” she asked me.

“I have a really cool job,” I apologized.

She skimmed through a few paragraphs here and there before handing it back to me. “I wish I had your job,” she said. “I’d love to read this.” I smiled and promised to hand over the book to her when I was done.

Dirty Girls contains 27 stories varying in heat from jalepeño to Scotch Bonnet. You’ll find all kinds of couplings, from hetero to gay to bi; and all degrees of commitment, from married couples to pure strangers. The sex ranges from sweet to blasphemous; you do not want to miss what one character does with her rosary, the naughty minx.

I most appreciate erotica when the fantasy encounters maintain some degree of reality. Call me a prude if you will, but I like it when I can picture myself in the same positions and situations as our protagonists. Descriptions of unsafe or contortionist sex just don’t do it for me, and I found that the stories in Dirty Girls told of fantasy sex that was still within the realm of the possible.

One of the best examples of that was Rachel Kramer Bussel’s own contribution to the collection, “Icy Hot.” A quick trip to the store for a bag of ice turns into an erotic encounter with a stranger. It’s a simple set-up that left me wishing I’d read it at home in bed instead of in front of a group of mommies chatting about their carpools, cell phones and shopping trips.

Here, have a taste:

With his left hand, he began rubbing one piece of ice against my nipple, which reacted immediately. With the other, he roamed along my inner thighs. I wrapped my ankles around the legs of the chair, curling my toes for good measure, spreading myself as wide as possible for what I hoped would be the ultimate invasion. He teased me so well, I thought I might break the chair. He went everywhere with that ice but where I needed him the most.

Yeah. I need me summa that.

Thank you, Rachel Kramer Bussel, for putting together a collection classy enough to be read in public yet steamy enough that I longed for the privacy of my bedroom (and the ministrations of my Hitachi).

*Check out interviews with the authors and more story excerpts on the book’s official site.

My sister has dealt with developmental disabilities since birth. Even though I’ve been privy to her struggles and triumphs for nearly four decades now, I’d not given much thought to the sexual part of her life.

This is an uncomfortable topic for many people, I’d have to guess, and often the easiest thing to do with uncomfortable topics is to ignore them in the hope that they’ll never need to be addressed.

Often I wrestle with the idea that my sister is even an adult, much less a sexual adult. In my mind she’s still a child; her short stature and emotional immaturity play right into my erroneous perception. Add to this some very real fears about how she might handle both the physical and emotional difficulties that come along with intimacy, and it’s clear why it’s easier for me to think of someone like my sister as an asexual child.

The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability, available through Cleis Press, addresses many of the concerns that affect both people with disabilities and the other folks in their lives. The trio of authors has experience in dealing with their own disabilities and chronic conditions, as well as those of their clients.

The book covers topics such as anatomy, self-image, communication with partners and caregivers, adapting sex toys and positions, safer sex, and alternative sexual play. The authors’ intended readers are people living with disabilities, but these subjects are equally informative for anyone who has contact with those facing physical or other challenges.

It would also be excellent reading for anyone interested in being as informed a sexual partner as possible to as many kinds of people as possible.

I found the discussions on body image to be particularly interesting. While I’m currently not disabled, I do not have the sort of body one usually sees in magazines or the movies. The authors point out how very much attention we give to how bodies look, often to the exclusion of how they feel.

This was quite an epiphany to me. I began considering that my partners might actually be attracted to (and not just tolerant of) my soft curves, perhaps even more than they might be to expanses of thin skin stretched tightly over bones.

I also began to have more of an appreciation for the difficulties people living in group situations often have with privacy. The authors point out the restrictions sometimes placed on residents’ ability to be alone with others; this was a complete revelation to me. It forced me to rethink the extra hurdles that are placed in front of those who already must work around physical limitations. It hardly seems fair, does it?

The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability ends with an extensive list of resources for folks who want to learn more. From websites to books to organizations, if it deals with making sex easier and more fun, you’ll find it here.

I heartily recommend this book for people who have now (or who might have in the future) disabled people in their lives. You know what this means, right?

Just about everyone will have contact at some point with people with disabilities. So just about everyone could benefit from reading this book.

Back in the day (”the day” being the early 1990s), I read Cosmo magazine with the same attention usually lavished upon religious texts, crib notes and the instructions on home pregnancy test kits.

Each month I eagerly devoured what guidance it could provide, and while I certainly had no use for clothing that cost many multiples of my rent or guides on how to get by in the big city (my “city” consisted of a few thousand souls), I adored the sex advice. I devoured each screamingly sexual article, drinking in both the information and the mildly lewd pictures.

And if Cosmo’s Guide to Red-Hot Sex by the Editors of Cosmopolitan had been around back then, there’s no doubt in my mind but that I would have ponied up the cover price and read the book front to back many times over. This 240-page hardcover guide reads exactly like a compilation of the “good parts” of several years’ worth of magazines.

Chapters cover the basics of seduction, including erotic massage, oral sex, positions, and after-play. Health and safety concerns are briefly mentioned; they also provide a few pointers on how to “get your man to wear a condom.”

I find it mildly tragic that books like these still have to exhort folks to practice safer sex. Won’t we ever get to the point where it’s a given that condoms will be available and used for each sex act? Eh, who am I kidding. Of course Cosmo’s Guide to Red-Hot Sex needs these warnings.

I was pleased to find that the book includes a beginner’s guide to anal play, directed toward women as both the givers and receivers of butt love. They suggest little more than tentative exploration around the anus for men, and wisely suggest obtaining explicit permission before dipping in a fingertip. Women are encouraged to use plenty of lube and to go slowly — wise advice, though much more could be said on the topic. A list of suggested additional readings would have been appropriate at several different points in the book, but most especially here.

As in other Cosmo publications, this guide is illustrated with suggestive but hardly revealing photographs of playful couples in the early stages of sexual activity. While there’s excellent representation of various skin tones, you’ll find precious little additional diversity. Same sex couples? No way. Larger folks? Ha! People who look edgy in any way other than the single obligatory emo-rocker-boy? Not a chance.

I know it’s Cosmo, but come on. Couldn’t they broaden their definition of what’s attractive? By just a smidge? Sometime soon? Please?

The guide ends with several short tales meant to be read aloud between lovers. These could be performed over the phone, via text or IM, or even during sex, if you’re really adventurous. And well-coordinated.

While Cosmo’s Guide to Red-Hot Sex aims more toward those at the start of their sexual lives, it’s a fun read for anyone interested in adding a little fun to the bedroom.

Morgan Hastings, who previously gave the world a lovely coloring book of vaginas, has now returned with a companion book of cock. A coloring book full of cock…what’s not to like?

A classically trained French horn player and illustrator, Hastings has gathered together a collection of just about every possible type of penis you could imagine. Rendered in bold lines are short fat cocks, lean mean cocks, decorated cocks, pierced cocks, smooth cocks and furry cocks. Rumor has it that one of the cocks even belongs to Hastings himself. Hm.

Interspersed between all the cock pictures are puzzles, fill-in-the-blanks and places for folks to draw in their own favorite penises.

I love the variety Hastings has shown in this book. He’s managed to show the beauty of every possibly kind of cock; I’d imagine it would be quite a thrill for a dude to find his own type of penis in the book and realize how attractive it seems as pictured by Hastings.

As I write this, I am hatching plans to go out with a group of open-minded friends to a little party tonight. I plan on bringing The Big Coloring Book of Cocks along with me. I have a feeling that there will be many happy exclamations (and maybe a few comparisons) among the various attendees.

Someone remind me to grab all my flesh-toned crayons on the way out the door, ok?

Make space between your Betty Crocker and that old Jello cookbook for something a little more stimulating. The New Intercourses is a collection of recipes designed to put you in the mood for love.

Authors Martha Hopkins and Randall Lockridge first conceived of and published this aphrodisiac cookbook more than a decade ago. Since then they’ve rewritten recipes, shot more photographs, caught up on contributors, and added a wealth of new information to this fun and beautiful book.

With sections on all the usual suspects (among them chocolate, oysters, strawberries and asparagus), you’ll find something pleasing to your taste buds in the 130+ included recipes. Want to prepare an entire libidinous feast? There’s plenty here for weeks of entire meals; there’s even a section of suggestions based on the time of the planned seduction.

Want to plan an entree around your lover’s zodiacal sign? You can do that. Apparently I am “unpretentious” and like “unusual flavor fusions.” Hm. Not sure I’d agree with that summation, but who am I to argue with the stars above?

If you’d prefer to cook up some bath or massage concoctions, The New Intercourses can point you in the right direction. Recipes for body oils, bath salts and scrubs are provided, along with suggestions of where you can purchase appropriate ingredients both online and off.

Interspersed with recipes are sexy literary quotes and lovely images featuring foods. I’m particularly fond of the picture of a woman wearing salmon fillets as panties, but the one of a very pregnant belly thrusting up from a sea of black beans (they promote fertility, didn’t you know?) also trips a certain pervy trigger for me. An image of a man’s naked torso, his hand curled into a clear jar of honey, brings to mind all sorts of naughty thoughts; one of a woman naked but for a hula-skirt made from asparagus would probably do the same thing for other folks.

The New Intercourses should find a place in the cookbook collection of all licentious cooks. And if anyone reading this would like to hand-feed me a couple chocolate-almond truffles, I’m ready anytime.

I have to admit that I’m not the biggest fan of reality programs. There’s something that feels so very wrong about throwing people together (whether in house, tour bus or island), and then looking on with voyeuristic glee as they hash out their inevitable differences.

But when the people are porn actors and they are left alone in a beautiful house for 36 hours with no script, schedule or rules—well, that changes things! I’ll watch and then watch some more!

In her third film in the Chemistry series, Tristan Taormino gives a half-dozen gorgeous porn performers the time, location and cameras, then she lets them provide the action. This time around Taormino enlisted the participation of performers Roxy DeVille, Jada Fire, Hillary Scott, Christian, Derrick Pierce and Steven St. Croix. These actors are beautiful of course, but they also come across also as interesting and likable people.

I found myself listening with complete interest during the interview portions of the film. It was educational as well as humorous to hear each actor’s preferences, experiences and pet peeves. I found it charming to watch Roxy DeVille explore sex toys and demonstrate the finer points of vagina hygiene, let me tell you.

Interviews are all very good, you are probably thinking, but what about the sex? How was the sex?

The sex was, in a word, hot.

In standard porn, I’m certain that each of these performers is awesome. But in this situation, where they got to choose what to do and how to do it, their passion was outstanding.

You know what was my favorite part of the sex scenes? It was the laughter. The sex was flaming hot, but I loved how clear it was that these actors were having fun. They teased, they played, they giggled, they joked. It reminded me of the way my friend and I play in bed…er…if only my friend and I had killer bodies and had sex in a really cool house with modern furniture and a huge hot tub.

The only thing for me that was missing in this film was a male performer receiving ye olde anal luv from a female accomplice. Were there scenes of this nature in the first two Chemistry movies? Did I just happen upon the one Chemistry film lacking male anal? Color me just the tiniest bit disappointed at this. But not disappointed enough that I’ll never watch the film again.

Bonus features in this two-disc set include extensive image galleries, behind-the-scenes footage, an extra scene and a run-down of sex positions.

Tristan, I loved this film. I vote nobody off the island. Everyone moves on to the next round. No one has to go home. And I’m very much looking forward to Chemistry Volume 4.

If you’ve ever managed to sneak a glance at illustrations from the the original Kama Sutra, you know that the sexual positions discussed therein seem unimaginably difficult.

Bodies bend and contort in ways that seem frankly impossibly if not downright hazardous. Legs bent behind heads! Third (or fourth) parties offering assistance! Limbs knotted like pretzels! The lifting! The twisting! The lunging!

It looks exhausting. It makes you want to sigh in resignation, grab the remote and watch reruns of Law and Order instead of attempting such feats of sexuality.

The New Kama Sutra by Randi Fox offers an alternative to evenings spent on the couch bewailing your lack of sexual athleticism. Gorgeous Indian paintings are presented alongside modern photographs of a lovely couple engaged in modified (sometimes heavily modified) versions of the ancient positions.

Each set of images is accompanied by a short description pulled from the original Kama Sutra, along with instructions on how to make the more modern position enjoyable. In looking at the pairs of images, I found myself thinking, “Oh! That’s how it’s supposed to work!” and realizing that perhaps whoever created the original images was aiming more for salacity than realism.

Nothing wrong with salacity at all…but realism is nice when you want to try it yourself.

Not only does the book show a wide variety of sexual positions, but it also contains sections on intimacy, fun, kissing and oral pleasure.

Don’t expect vast amounts of photographic nudity in The New Kama Sutra. The modern couple is quite prim, all things considered. Breasts are shown but there’s no hint of genitals. Never you fear; the couples portrayed in the Indian paintings are a lot more exposed.

The New Kama Sutra would be fun to look through with a lover before an evening spent trying out intriguing positions. I’m betting you’ll find several that you’ll try more than once.

You know, I feel like I’ve got a pretty damn good handle on my own g-spot. But hey, who can’t learn more, right?

With that in mind, I sat down one cool autumn afternoon with Violet Blue’s The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot. The book is an entertaining and highly informative read–but how could it be anything less with an author such as Violet Blue?

If I may, I will attempt to summarize this book in one sentence. Here goes: Every woman has a g-spot, which she can both learn to find and stimulate if she so desires; however, if she has no interest in finding or stimulating her g-spot, that’s fine too, because there are many other wonderful sexual activities that don’t include the g-spot.

One reason I liked this book is because of Violet Blue’s low-pressure approach. There’s no stress. She does not suggest to her readers that g-spot stimulation is the only way or even the best way to reach orgasm. She does not hype g-spot play in such a way that her readers might feel annoyed or somehow deficient if their g-spotting experiences aren’t all that great.

I really like that approach. I spent years toying around with my own g-spot without understanding what all the fuss was about. I read articles back then about the wonders of the g-spot orgasm, and I usually ended up feeling like I was missing something crucial because I wasn’t passing out or entering some new plane of existence when I touched myself that way.

The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot offers reassuring advice on how to find and stimulate the g-spot. It manages to correct much of the misinformation floating around about g-spot stimulation, such as the idea that every woman adores it (not true) or that the barest g-spot touch will send a woman into ecstasy (definitely not true). There’s a lesson on gushing, as well as plentiful information on the best sorts of toys for g-spot play.

Violet Blue’s book would be an excellent read for someone interested in getting the most mileage possible out of her anatomy. The easy-to-read, friendly style will appeal to g-spot amateurs and old hands alike.

I had the pleasure of meeting Laurie Toby Edison at the BlogHer Conference in Chicago this July. She spoke in a panel focusing on blogging and body image, and I got to talk to her briefly after the session.

Toby Edison and co-author Debbie Notkin became interested in bringing gorgeous images of larger women to the public in the mid 80s. Through images and words, they have explored the ideas of what is beautiful, how people perceive large woman, and how those women tend to become invisible as they move through their lives. Laurie Toby Edison was kind enough to let me take home her personal copy of Women En Large at the end of the conference.

Being the devious sort that I am, I left the book sitting conspicuously on the kitchen counter on a day when my mom was set to visit. My mother, who has struggled with body image and weight for her entire life, immediately picked up the book when she walked in.

I let her peruse it for a moment, watching her face without saying anything as she glanced at an image of a large woman whose breast had been lost to cancer, and another image of a happy looking nude standing on a deck. Her eyes grew wide. “What do you think of the images, Mom?” I asked her.

She was staring at the striking picture of a large woman sitting comfortably in front of a fireplace. The woman had short hair, four visible tattoos, and a startlingly frank expression on her face. “Do you think this is beautiful?” my mom asked incredulously. “I think it’s horrible!”

“Do you mean the picture itself or the woman?” I asked softly.

“Both!” she said.

“Why don’t you like it?” I asked.

“She’s so…fat!” All this time my mother hadn’t taken her eyes from the image. “It’s shocking.”

I didn’t point out to my mom that her own unclothed body (minus the tattoos) would probably look remarkably similar to the body belonging to the woman in the photograph.

“Mom. It’s art. It’s supposed to shock you. It’s supposed to make you question why you find some images attractive and some images horrifying.”

She just shook her head and turned away. But as the day progressed, I twice caught her thumbing through the book when she thought no one was looking.

I think Women En Large had the effect on my mother that the authors intended. After her initial surprise and even revulsion, she returned to the book, perhaps looking for beauty in a place she wouldn’t have thought to look before. Maybe when she’s out in the world, she’ll continue to seek out beauty in individuals who aren’t traditionally thought to be beautiful.

Maybe she’ll find some beauty in herself too.

Hearts Cracked Open provides a tantalizing lesbian-focused introduction to the world of Tantric sex.

In 50 short minutes, Hearts Cracked Open walks you through the basics of Tantra. You’ll learn about Tantra’s healing benefits, some very basic instruction in how it is practiced, and glimpses into the bedrooms of female couples who incorporate Tantra into their intimacy.

The keyword here is “intimacy.” Hearts Cracked Open focuses on how lovers must open themselves to each other in order to have powerfully intimate sex. One of the instructors, Marcia Singer, says, “You can’t get off any bigger than you’re ready to have your heart cracked open.” This is demonstrated by couples connecting to each other with their eyes and their breathing before they begin touching in a way that would look sexual to the uninitiated.

Sexologist Annie Sprinkle makes appearances throughout the film extolling the virtues of Tantric sex; later, she demonstrates a hands-free “Fire Breath” orgasm that is a thing of beauty.

Possibly the best part of the Hearts Cracked Open is in one of the film’s bonus features. It’s a half-hour step by step demonstration of how Tantra can be used between a couple as a daily exercise in intimacy. It’s emphasized that Tantra practice is not about orgasms; instead, it’s about finding a deep spiritual connection with a partner. You’ll see a couple move through several phases of ever-increasing intimacy–from the practice of soul-gazing, to shared breath, then on to touching. A couple new to Tantra could easily play along at home with this section of the film.

You should not expect Hearts Cracked Open to provide either exhaustive instruction in the art of Tantra or an all-naked girlie fuck-fest. It is neither of these things. Instead, expect a calm, gentle introduction that will make you want to learn more about Tantric sex just as soon as you can.