Fortunately, the Soho Blindfold is here to bring style into your bondage sessions without sacrificing comfort or function.

The Soho blindfold is made with a super-soft leather that feels terrific against your skin. The blindfold is also padded in a way that blocks out all light without putting undue pressure on the eye. A thick elastic band holds it in place extremely well, and the front of the blindfold comes in either a lush velvety material or a shiny red PVC that sends the whole thing off with a smashing sense of style.

Sure, compared to making a blindfold out of a discarded stocking, the Soho isn’t exactly cheap ($32). But if you do a lot of sensory deprivation play, it is worth it to invest in a quality blindfold. And of all the ones on the market today, none combine form and function as well as the Soho Blindfold. Besides, your tied up partner will be happy to know that, while they can’t see a thing, they sure do look good.

-Lippy Imp

Buy it at Babeland, Jane’s favorite sextoy store.

This toy made me feel something that no other toy has ever done: jealousy. The Rock Chick is an ingeniously designed battery-powered vibrator that stimulates the G-spot and the clitoris simultaneously.

Crafted from high quality silicone, the Rock Chick’s unique contoured design makes it a toy exclusive to women (thus, part of my jealously, but we’re just getting started.) The insertable end curves just so to hit the G-spot, while the textured handle fits nicely against the vulva. To make things just that much more interesting, there is a hole at the top of the handle that fits a bullet vibe (included), prime location for clitoral stimulation.

Since I couldn’t use this one on my prostate, my girlfriend got to try it out. Normally, she’s not crazy about insertable toys, but she warmed up to this one in a hurry. I watched as she went from mild surprise at how good it felt to a full-blown, bed shaking orgasm. After she caught her breath, she told me that she would have come a lot sooner had I not been staring at her and asking her questions. Then, she said that the Rock Chick was “the next best thing to you. If you were out of town, I’d miss you a lot less with this thing around.”

The Rock Chick ($64) is a great toy, no doubt. The silicone is smooth, easy to disinfect, and warms quickly to body temperature. It’s also fairly compact, making it easy to hide or store in your luggage for those tedious business trips. The bullet vibe is pretty strong and not too loud, though it can be accidentally turned on and off all too easily. All in all, my girlfriend loved the Rock Chick and had absolutely nothing bad to say about it. I, on the other hand, have begun to understand why she has been asking when I’ll be going out of town again.

-Lippy Imp

buy it at Babeland, Jane’s favorite sextoy store.

The same is true of How to Tell a Naked Man, a sex tips book for hetero women infused with a fair chunk of Royalle’s personal exploits. Her book is absolutely packed with good information ranging in topics from finding Mr. Right to ways to swallow come even if you hate the taste. She provides lists of suggested mood music and romantic getaways, even types of body products to use or avoid. With all subjects, she includes relevant details from both her personal and professional life that reveal her insight to the matter at hand.

The main problem is How to Tell a Naked Man is with the writing. It’s not bad, but like with her directing, it’s not especially good either. Her style is certainly serviceable, but lacks humor and attitude. Even the dirt from her personal life is fairly dry. She’s trying to say to her readers, “Look, I’m just like you!” But in downplaying her career in sex films while simultaneously using it to justify writing an advice book, Royalle fails to distinguish her voice as either that of a “sexpert” or of the Average Joan.

Fireside, 2004, hardback

-Lippy Imp

Written by Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey, the same team behind the column “The Em & Lo Down (Advice from Near-Experts), this book contains no text aside from the hilarious titles given to each position and the introduction in which the authors state their goals. “This isn’t a hippie sex manual, damn it, and we don’t have any interest in fixing sex,” they warn at the beginning of the book. Basically, they just wanted to have some fun thinking up clever names for different sexual positions.

The book moves through the days of the year, offering a position for each one with nothing more than a basic outline sketch of two people and a kooky title. Some of the positions repeat with a different name, and others, like “Jedi Training” which features the man riding the woman piggyback, are as impossible as they are funny.

And that is really the point of this book. It’s not about teaching or correcting. Instead, Position of the Day seeks merely to amuse and perhaps inspire you to try something new, because sometimes that’s all you need to get you through the day.

Chronicle Books, 2003, paperback

For some reason, sticking a fake disembodied penis in my ass is no problem, but the idea of stuffing my cock into a disembodied mouth was disconcerting. Personal hang-ups aside, I’d heard so many good things about the Fleshlight that I was excited to try it out.

The Fleshlight is a masturbatory sleeve encased in a large plastic shell, causing it to resemble an enormous flashlight, thus the name. The orifice comes in different shapes: a mouth, a vagina, or an anus. My particular model was called Ice Lady, which had a clear casing and a translucent sleeve. This version of Fleshlight is pretty cool (no pun intended), as it looked a lot less like a stolen face as the original model, and also I could see my cock inside it.

Unlike other sleeves, there’s some prep work involved with the Fleshlight. First, I had to rinse, and then soak the removable gel sleeve in warm water for a few minutes. Then, I had to shake it dry and slip it back into the case. Once I got my cock hard (there’s no way you’re getting a softie into that tight hole), I lubed it up, also taking care to apply some to the inside of the Fleshlight. As soon as I was all the way in, I was glad for that warm bath, as it felt much more like the real thing. The gel sleeve was snug and smooth and felt wonderful as I slowly guided it up and down. Somewhat distracting was the clunky knocking sound it made going back and forth, but I tried to put it out of my mind.

One of the nice features of the Fleshlight is the removable bottom, which not only makes cleanup easier, but also allows you stick a bullet-style vibe into the end of the gel sleeve, giving you a hummer with more hum. Between the vibrations and the smooth, warm, I was slip-sliding away towards an orgasm in no time.

Then something unfortunate happened. I got overenthusiastic with my pumping, and my cock popped out just as I started the downswing. Instead of sliding back into the snug mouth, my cock scraped against the plastic casing. Ouch. I would definitely recommend smoothing this down a bit with some fine grit sandpaper or an emery board.

Accidental flesh wounds aside, I thoroughly enjoyed the Fleshlight, definitely one of the best masturbation sleeves out there. It’s easy to wash out after use, though it looks really funny drying in the dish tray. The case keeps it clean when not in use, which is great since cyberskin and jelly materials seem to attract dust and lint. At $68 (or $63 for the original model), the Fleshlight isn’t exactly cheap, but much less expensive than buying blowjobs from a professional. And really, it’s the closest thing out there to the real deal.

- Lippy Imp

Buy it at Babeland, Jane’s favorite sextoy store.

Each tip spans no more than two pages, making them easy to understand and remember. But most importantly, Life’s Too Short is fun to read. Taylor’s writing is concise while still managing to be witty. The illustrations, too, are perfect: light and sexy as well as helpful.

Life’s Too Short packs tons of great information into 128 pages. Written with the heterosexual couple in mind, the tips run the gamut of sexuality. There are your standard fellatio/cunnilingus suggestions, along with a few sexual positions. But Taylor goes beyond the garden-variety sex tips to include such things as how to fuck underwater, how to strip, and how to give a good rim job.

Walking the fine line between mild and wild, Life’s Too Short is probably too hot for the prudish and too tame for kinksters. But if you like your vanilla sex with lots of sprinkles and chocolate syrup, this book is right up your alley.

Marlowe and Company, 2003, paperback

-Lippy Imp

Written by Charles Moser, PhD., M.D., and Janet W. Hardy, Sex Disasters contains the kind of expert advice that you’ll be glad you didn’t have to ask a friend for. Each subject is dealt with seriously, but also with a playfulness that makes reading a pleasure. For example, when faced with the crises of having something stuck in your butt, the authors say, “Well, before we tell you how to get it out, you’re just going to have to sit there—or, more likely, stand there—and listen to a lecture about how not to get stuff stuck in there in the first place.”

More than just troubleshooting, the authors also offer sage advice on topics like how to shave your genitals or how to unhook a bra. Basically, it’s like having an older sibling without having to compete for your parents’ affection. And, if nothing else, Sex Disasters has enough information and laughs to make an excellent bathroom reader. Let’s just hope that’s the only reason you need to pick it up.

Greenery Press, 2002, paperback

-Lippy Imp