Last night, Elliott and I went out shopping to pick out a new bed. There is something about a bed that is sorta sacred to me. In my previous relationship, I had a bed that I referred to as “the princess bed”. It was a huge, heavy four poster bed with a solid headboard that went almost to the ceiling. I could (and sometimes did) drape it in mosquito netting. It took up probably half of my old bedroom, and back when I was poly one of the agreements my partner and I had was that the bed was not to be shared space with his other partners. I did get to share it with my other partner at the time, but really the bed was mine. Part of that was that we didn’t often sleep together, I was usually in it alone. Part of that was that bed didn’t mean much to him, like it did to me. He had no feelings about me sharing it.

At any rate, when Elliott and I moved in together a few years ago, we had two beds. His was a log bed, which I must admit we have enjoyed and used. Good attachment points. heh. But I tend to use my laptop in bed, especially in the summer when I work from home. As I’m typing, it’s in bed, with a cup of coffee perched on the log end on my side. Still, it’s a bed that he’s had for a decade, so at one point his previous partner shared it with him. The princess bed has been in a storage unit, and soon will be put up in my daughter’s bedroom.

We’ve talked for a couple of years about picking out something that was ours alone. No previous history, memories good or bad. Last night we went to our favorite furniture store to browse. Some of the things that we looked for: attachment points, comfort, overall look of course. We have a very high ceiling in the bedroom, so it kinda needs a bed with some drama. Unfortunately, the comfort aspect ended up outweighing the potential kinky-sex aspect. We chose a sleigh bed with a dramatically high sloping leather upholstered headboard. It’s comfy to sit up in without a zillion pillows (the log bed, I need about 10 pillows to sit up comfortably in. The logs are knotted and rough.) It has graceful lines, beautiful wood and finish. No attachment points whatsoever.

I’m all happy to have a bed that is ours alone. One of my favorite things in life is snuggling into silky bamboo sheets at night, and feeling Elliott’s warmth next to me, his hand automatically coming to rest on the curve of my hip, me wiggling my ass back against him until we’re spooned just right. Ahh, peace.

~jane

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