I slept horribly last night, mostly because I am getting too old to have a margarita with dinner without repercussions. Something about tequila, even in small doses, hurts me. Practically every time I woke up it was in the midst of a sex dream, thanks to starting to review Kink.com’s Sex and Submission website yesterday. Not all of their sites are exactly my cup of tea because kink is such a personal thing. But I love that their whole company seems to be comprised of people really into the things they are doing, with some knowledge and experience and sensitivity to go along with it. It makes for a much hotter viewing experience than some of the bdsm schlock on your average mainstream porn site.

During one of these wakeups that was particularly long, I was pondering the nature of adult entertainment, and some of it’s criticisms. One of the big ones that I hear is that with the internet being (as the musical Avenue Q so rightly points out) ‘for porn’, young adults are today getting their idea of what sex is like from the porn industry. After some middle-of-the-night mulling though, that just doesn’t seem all that fair a criticism to me. We’re talking about entertainment, not reality. Just like you wouldn’t get an idea of what really being a cop is like from watching Law & Order, or what being a doctor is really like from watching House. The whole medium of entertainment requires more action, more drama. So while it might be fantasy material for some to watch a gangbang, that doesn’t really translate to regular gangbangs in one’s personal life, or even the expectation or desire for such. I have to think that even if youngish people (let’s say college age) are getting their sexual education from porn, that once they start to get any real LIFE sexual education they’re going to figure out that it’s not – um – what they’ve been jacking off to.

The other thing I hear sometimes is that mainstream porn sets up unhealthy expectations of body attractiveness. Well, that’s definitely a criticism that should be leveled at all media as a whole, but I will say that in my experience once people are into someone enough to have sex, they aren’t trying to dissect any tiny body imperfections in their partner. While I may be self-conscious of my c-section scar and the dimpled backs of my thighs, that’s not what Elliott is seeing when he’s doing me. The internet has also been a pretty great equalizer in bringing regular bodies to a medium that before was dominated by airbrushed bunnies.

As I go through some of these websites, I feel a sort of awe and respect for some of the people in them. Like I should thank them for going out on the limb of providing this content for other people to be aroused by, because they’re like really great stuntpeople doing things that most of us (yes, i qualify that with most, having known well – many exceptions) will never do even in our own bedrooms, much less in front of cameras for the eyes of strangers.


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