I was just watching a great video clip of Violet Blue talking about her experience appearing on the Tyra Banks show. I love Violet Blue, she’s definitely one of the best voices when it comes to talking about the vast spectrum of sexuality. I am a little surprised that – well, that it surprised her to not have the experience promised by the show producers. The bit about the kinds of things in the contract was funny, if unsurprising. If there is one thing I’ve learned in the past 10 years, it’s that mainstream media is just unable to accurately talk about sex, and the (shocking? to them, I guess) revelation that women are a big part of the market for porn, sextoys and explicit writing. It’s not just romance novels, duh.

Someone from the Tyra Banks show contacted me a couple of years ago. I remember having the discussion about it with Elliott at the time, because my initial reaction (and what I ended up going with) was to stay far away. I absolutely do not trust shows like that. That said, I think it’s awesome that there are amazing women like Violet who will at least make an attempt to speak their piece, even if they ultimately don’t get very far.

What I don’t understand is why the mainstream media is so vested in perpetuating myths when it comes to women and sex. It’s just ridiculous, it’s like the one last gasp attempt at shaming women into not taking charge of their sex lives. Let’s tell them that if they don’t want romantic porn, or romance novels, or have fantasies like that, that there is somehow something “wrong” with them. Augh! Women account for about 50% of the people buying subscriptions to more than a few hardcore BDSM sites. I don’t know how many hardcore non-BDSM sites, for some reason I’ve never been able to get any kind of accurate data there. And, women are definitely prolific in writing non-romantic sex stories as well.

Anyhow… kudos to Violet Blue for trying, she’s a braver woman than I.

~Jane

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