Comments on: books and rain and colds, part deux http://janesguide.com/wpmu/janesays/2007/09/26/books-and-rain-and-colds-part-deux/ Just another Janesguide.com weblog Wed, 19 Nov 2008 11:39:05 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: jane http://janesguide.com/wpmu/janesays/2007/09/26/books-and-rain-and-colds-part-deux/#comment-329 jane Thu, 27 Sep 2007 13:53:31 +0000 http://janesguide.com/wpmu/janesays/2007/09/26/books-and-rain-and-colds-part-deux/#comment-329 Jim, you're right, the friends part is a big deal. In our culture "passion" is presented as an ultimate, which doesn't always jibe with "friends". For example: Elliott and I are great friends, and we have the hots for each other as well, but we've never had a huge fight that has resulted in "makeup sex". I know for Elliott, he has said that we don't have the same passion as his first huge relationship, where they were constantly at odds, and constantly having hot makeup sex. (I did offer to pick a fight so he could have some, but neither of us thought I'd be able to fake it that well. heh.) And congratulations on 35 years! Jim, you’re right, the friends part is a big deal. In our culture “passion” is presented as an ultimate, which doesn’t always jibe with “friends”. For example: Elliott and I are great friends, and we have the hots for each other as well, but we’ve never had a huge fight that has resulted in “makeup sex”. I know for Elliott, he has said that we don’t have the same passion as his first huge relationship, where they were constantly at odds, and constantly having hot makeup sex.

(I did offer to pick a fight so he could have some, but neither of us thought I’d be able to fake it that well. heh.)

And congratulations on 35 years!

]]> By: Jim http://janesguide.com/wpmu/janesays/2007/09/26/books-and-rain-and-colds-part-deux/#comment-328 Jim Thu, 27 Sep 2007 03:14:32 +0000 http://janesguide.com/wpmu/janesays/2007/09/26/books-and-rain-and-colds-part-deux/#comment-328 Jane, Sorry about the cold. I'm just getting over one myself. My partner and I have been married for 35 years this December. I've wondered why our relationship has lasted so long and thrived, while many others seem not to. I think one major factor is that we have always been each other's best friend, and that's been the real basis of the relationship. We've also always had the hots for each other, and that helps alot also. However, I think the real factor for longevity is the "best friends" part. My impression is a lot of people marry on the basis of the "hots," and that doesn't seem to be a lasting basis for a realtionship. "Love each other" but don't "like each other" seems to be a receipe for disaster. I think the other major factor for us is that as we have grown as persons, we have grown in ways that are compatible and share a lot of similarities. I see a lot of people just grow apart. Anyway, my two cents. Best of luck to you for longevity, and hope you are feeling well soon, you hot babe! Jim (in Grants Pass OR) Jane,

Sorry about the cold. I’m just getting over one myself.

My partner and I have been married for 35 years this December. I’ve wondered why our relationship has lasted so long and thrived, while many others seem not to.

I think one major factor is that we have always been each other’s best friend, and that’s been the real basis of the relationship. We’ve also always had the hots for each other, and that helps alot also. However, I think the real factor for longevity is the “best friends” part. My impression is a lot of people marry on the basis of the “hots,” and that doesn’t seem to be a lasting basis for a realtionship. “Love each other” but don’t “like each other” seems to be a receipe for disaster.

I think the other major factor for us is that as we have grown as persons, we have grown in ways that are compatible and share a lot of similarities. I see a lot of people just grow apart.

Anyway, my two cents. Best of luck to you for longevity, and hope you are feeling well soon, you hot babe!

Jim (in Grants Pass OR)

]]> By: D'gou http://janesguide.com/wpmu/janesays/2007/09/26/books-and-rain-and-colds-part-deux/#comment-327 D'gou Wed, 26 Sep 2007 22:35:44 +0000 http://janesguide.com/wpmu/janesays/2007/09/26/books-and-rain-and-colds-part-deux/#comment-327 Wow... I feel sorry for your previous two marriages, on both sides... Wow… I feel sorry for your previous two marriages, on both sides…

]]> By: Peter Throckmorton http://janesguide.com/wpmu/janesays/2007/09/26/books-and-rain-and-colds-part-deux/#comment-326 Peter Throckmorton Wed, 26 Sep 2007 20:24:30 +0000 http://janesguide.com/wpmu/janesays/2007/09/26/books-and-rain-and-colds-part-deux/#comment-326 The latest Vachss lasted about a day and a half last week. The new Barnes & Nobles at Northgate being on my one mile drive to and from the office is worse than crack. I'm off to the Mariners' doubleheader at Safeco with the latest <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Wambaugh" rel="nofollow">Joe Wambaugh</a> in my bag of snacks to fill in between the innings. The latest Vachss lasted about a day and a half last week.

The new Barnes & Nobles at Northgate being on my one mile drive to and from the office is worse than crack.

I’m off to the Mariners’ doubleheader at Safeco with the latest Joe Wambaugh in my bag of snacks to fill in between the innings.

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