But even with a great, comfortable attitude, the single most important thing my mother ever did, when at about 14 or so I announced I was “never getting married” she turned, looked right at me, and said “sex is a great thing.” She’d deny it to this day. It was only one time. She’d probably got it on with my dad the night before.

I don’t think anyone realizes what it is one says which is heard by the listener. Your mom denying her own words just rings so true!

I still need you to send me a snail mail address for your roller derby t-shirts! One of the great parts about derby is this sheer sex-positive culture for all types of women. :)

You tossed this sentence in so lightly but I think it is a major part of what it means to be a sex positive parent. Teaching children to see the larger cultural issues that help shape people’s values is a wonderful way to help them be more sex positive because it will help them clarify their own values. Addressing these things can feel really overwhelming and hard, but I wish I’d grown up with a better sense of what drove people’s values when I was a child – it certainly would have helped me figure out my own values.

My parents were very uncomfortable with talking about sex. Getting my period was traumatic for me and my mother had no clue what the hell to say to me. Times have changed for the better, my daughter eagerly anticipated her period as who had it and didn’t was a major topic of conversation among all her girlfriends.