my May so far
Wed May 28, 2008
So I’d intended of course to write about all of the topics Babeland threw out there for the SexyMama blogs. I was surprised to find it difficult - usually if someone asks me a question or throws out a subject I have something to say about it. I don’t know why it ended up being so difficult. Anyhow, from my last post, I wanted to say Melanie, send me your address and I’ll get this little gift from Babeland right out to you, it sounds like the perfect thing for your next trip. :)
As for me, life is swamped. We have a new puppy (which is like having a new baby) and while she is bringing me much joy, she’s also a handful. She’s actually the oldest daughter’s puppy, but until school in out towards the end of June, I have puppy duty during the day. That, managing this site, helping with Elliott’s business, getting ready for the retail store in September and training for a triathlon are keeping me way busy. Elliott just had a birthday over the holiday weekend, and we spent the 3 days without making any major plans. It’s so nice sometimes to just be spontaneous and go with whatever we feel like doing. Gardening a bit, a minor bike ride, friends over, bbq, and of course new puppy wrangling. heh.
So on another note: I was in a local wine shop the other day and the very cute BettiePage-esque girl working there said “where do I know you from, you look really familiar. Are you a RollerBetty? You look like you could be a RollerBetty.” I have to say I was super happy that she’d think so. Trying out for roller-derby is on my list of things to do when life calms down some. Of course life NEVER calms down some because whenever it does, Elliott and I seem to add something else. But in this case maybe that’ll be the next “something else”. Tryouts are in January each year, I think. Question for you, Dale (if you’re reading): are the injuries as prevalent as I hear they are? ‘Cause the only thing that gives me pause is that I’m too old for broken bones.
Ok, that’s my updating for now. I’m off to try to get other site updates done while I have a few minutes.
~Jane
May 29th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Are you serious? Really! Really and truly? Oh my. Do I contact you here at janesguide? And just between us, Melanie is my PKA name…does that matter? PKA means professionally known as not that I use that name alot anymore. *heehee*
Take care!
May 29th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Really and truly - email me (jane at janesguide dot com) with your address, and tshirt size too so I can send you a jane tshirt. :)
~Jane
June 5th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
ooh! Pick me! I play derby! Actually, I’ve had three knee surgeries (not derby related), and so know I just ref. My derby name is Essin’ Em, of course.
During the time I played, I hit my head once (not a concussion), and broke my tailbone twice (answer to that; invest in a tailbone protector). Otherwise, I was sore sometimes, but never got hurt.
Common injuries; the occasional broken finger, hurt wrist, twisted knee, etc. No one on our league has ever broken an arm or a leg. A lot depends on what position you play, the level of play your league is at (what is your local league?), etc. I even had my orthopedic surgeon’s ok to play (before my third surgery). It’s a wonderful to meet people, work out, and have fun, and if you’re nervous about playing and hurting yourself, consider becoming a ref!
-Essin’ Em, ref, PRG (Philly Roller Girls)
June 20th, 2008 at 11:48 am
Well, indeed I DO still read you, Jane. And Dale is my PKA name for my writing.
Bitches Bruze (thank you, Miles Davis) is my PKA name for derby. I’m waiting for you to send me a snail mail (try bbruze at gmail you know the rest) so I can send you some derby t-shirts (A Department of Public Hurts and some stickers and schwag).
Oddly enough I was at my chiropractors today. I’m not a small girl. With skates and gear, I’m slightly taller than Jim Croche’s Roller Derby Queen, but 215 nonetheless. That means when I hit, its pretty hard. But I took out a girl on our team over 300lbs twice at Wednesday’s practice. The second time we both went flying, fell on the floor laughing like 7 year-olds and said “Fuck, yeah! let’s do THAT again!”
Injuries happen. Injuries happen in sailing. They happen in triathelons. I’m a sailor too - thank heavens not a triathlete. Injuries happen in sex and sex play. When I wrote for the Salty Witch Circle we did a whole piece sex-related injuries. Yes, some of the derby injuries are really nasty. Tequilla Mockingbird is infamously paralyzed from the neck down. But so is some guy that works with my partner - from a bug bite no less. USUALLY injuries happen because people are not properly trained for the level of engagement. I hear of teams that train on “hitting” before they train on falling. You could have this conversation about any sport or play and I know you and your readers know that.
Derby is a full contact sport. It is a full contact sport at speed enhanced by equipment. Unlike football or rugby where you only have the speed of your own body without any mechanical advantage, we’re on skates. We do wear, at a minimum, mouth guards, knee and elbow pads, helmets, and mouth guards.
On our team in the past year we’ve had bruises that look like Jesus/Willie Nelson, a couple broken fingers, and some cracked ribs. Honestly, I have way FEWER bruises now than before derby. I’m more balanced. My core strength is infinitely greater. Its embarassing because bruises are the one thing all derby girls wear with pride and the best one I’ve had since joining (besides one few people saw because it was a toe stop print on my ass) I got tripping over my car hauler at home.
The team in Ithaca/Syracuse, NY I’ve seen their first three bouts - broken bones at all of them. The second one was a compound fracture and it really delayed the game until the ambulance got there and then the refs mopped up the blood. The last bout the jammer broke her leg literally in the last second of the bout. In ALL their cases, the players were exceptionally new and should have had much more training before being in a bout.
Roller Derby in Washington is VERY established. Those girls won’t let you get into those situations. If you can find a slightly younger team that takes players more than once a year, it might be more fun for you. I’m fortunate. I joined my team just after their first bout - so they were cured of their noobie idiocy, but they weren’t so established that at 40 years-old and out of shape, I ramped up with them and made their travel team for their first season.
I was just about to blog about all this. My chiropractor, as she was sending juice through my upper back to loosen the locked up, whiplashed muscles (mind you, I’ve seen her only one other time in the year since I’ve been skating but lots before) said something like “Obviously [your partner] isn’t worried about you getting hurt.” My response was - and is - he’s way more worried about me being fat, lonely, depressed and out of shape and nothing but a pill-popping blob in our retirement. THAT would be an injury we don’t want me to have - and it is one you atrophe into. He refs for our league. Most people would never know we are married. Most of my fans don’t know I’m married. I may not be the sexiest, youngest, thinnest, hottes-by-Wester-standards skaters on my team, but I do have an incredible fan base because I’m accessible. And I knock people down. :)
Derby IS all those things you can’t take a pill for:
Sheer Fun
Female Commaraderie
Sexy, sexy, sexy
Self-Empowering
Exercise that won’t help you lose weight (your waist will get thinner, but your thighs bigger)
For you, a chance to continue to be your large personality
(for some it allows them to be full of life - as large as life allows us to be)
You get to beat on people you love
And BE beat by people you love
while thousands of people cheer
Skating has soul AND is cool
Its rock and punk and ballet and a porn movie in one
Oh, and did I mention fun?
I gave one of your Jane’s guide t-shirts to my derby wife, The Beirut Bombshell. They are quite popular at practices. :) People notice we both have one. I should probably get a picture of the two of us in your shirts for you.
Really, if you worried about injuries, you’d never sail. You would have never played all the things you have played in kink and worked on triathalons. Yeah, you could get hurt. Bones heal. Spirits need food. Derby is really good spirit food.
Hugs - Kisses - Bruises,
Bitches