Comments on: 25 February 2010 http://janesguide.com/wpmu/janesays/2010/02/25/25-february-2010/ Just another Janesguide.com weblog Tue, 7 May 2013 08:43:47 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Mollena http://janesguide.com/wpmu/janesays/2010/02/25/25-february-2010/comment-page-1/#comment-1522 Mollena Thu, 25 Feb 2010 22:48:12 +0000 http://janesguide.com/wpmu/janesays/?p=349#comment-1522 As a monogamous chick in the BDSM and Leather community, I run up against this so very, very often. I have, in the past, tried very hard to pretzel myself into a relationship paradigm that I thought might work, and tried to be polyamorous. Interestingly, my first foray into poly relationships was in my teens, with my first boyfriend and girlfriend being my partners in a triad when we were all about 16. Even though it eventually dissolved, we did so with more dignity and grace than many people I see doing this at more advanced ages and experience! Monogamous kinksters are somewhat of a rarity, but we are out there. I've been sharing, gut-spilling and kvetching and on this for a while now ;-) In response to the rising tide of monogamous folks meeting with mockery and pushback, scorn and ridicule from poly and non-monogamous folks,I started offering a class last year for kinky monogamous folks (you can peep info on it here http://www.mollena.com/bdsm-classes/ ) I've written about my experiences as a monogamous submissive female, here ... http://www.mollena.com/2009/11/less-is-more/ http://www.mollena.com/2009/11/mos-nogamy/ and there ... ....and here, too... http://www.mollena.com/2008/10/mocking-monogamy/ and believe me, I could go on. I DEEPLY appreciate your being a voice for monogamy, and reminding us that being judgmental about emotions and emotional reactions isn't the beth path to take. Our emotions are what they are! It is how you choose to *react8 to them that makes ALL of the difference. Thank you so much, Jane, for this post! This monogamous woman takes comfort in knowing she's far from alone in wanting that focus in her sexuality. Peace ~Mollena As a monogamous chick in the BDSM and Leather community, I run up against this so very, very often. I have, in the past, tried very hard to pretzel myself into a relationship paradigm that I thought might work, and tried to be polyamorous. Interestingly, my first foray into poly relationships was in my teens, with my first boyfriend and girlfriend being my partners in a triad when we were all about 16. Even though it eventually dissolved, we did so with more dignity and grace than many people I see doing this at more advanced ages and experience!

Monogamous kinksters are somewhat of a rarity, but we are out there. I’ve been sharing, gut-spilling and kvetching and on this for a while now ;-)

In response to the rising tide of monogamous folks meeting with mockery and pushback, scorn and ridicule from poly and non-monogamous folks,I started offering a class last year for kinky monogamous folks (you can peep info on it here http://www.mollena.com/bdsm-classes/ )

I’ve written about my experiences as a monogamous submissive female, here … http://www.mollena.com/2009/11/less-is-more/

http://www.mollena.com/2009/11/mos-nogamy/ and there …

….and here, too… http://www.mollena.com/2008/10/mocking-monogamy/ and believe me, I could go on.

I DEEPLY appreciate your being a voice for monogamy, and reminding us that being judgmental about emotions and emotional reactions isn’t the beth path to take. Our emotions are what they are! It is how you choose to *react8 to them that makes ALL of the difference.

Thank you so much, Jane, for this post! This monogamous woman takes comfort in knowing she’s far from alone in wanting that focus in her sexuality.

Peace

~Mollena

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