Sat Feb 27, 2010
I distinctly remember the very first time ejaculation happened to me. It was on a first play-date with a new partner, and he just sorta *ahem* “hit the spot”. I didn’t know my body was capable of that, but here are a few things I do know:
1. I did not feel like I was going to pee. I know people say that frequently, I’m just saying that isn’t always the case because that’s not a sensation I’ve experienced, and ejaculation is not a rare thing for me. I noticed Nina Hartley (linked above) mentioned that she didn’t feel any particular sensation when she experienced FE firsthand either.
2. The partner that this happened with reacted rather poorly, in that in his surprise he reverted to highschool boy mentality. He joked about “putting down a tarp.” At the time, in the middle of the scene, as you might imagine, I was feeling rather vulnerable. That was not the time for joking like Beavis.
3. I don’t have any advice for people who do want to go there, as to the magic formula. With me, there is no special circumstance, or toy, or timing that seems to make a difference. I will say that I have to be WAY into things, if I’m feeling even slightly inhibited it just isn’t going to happen. The mental has to be all the way there. But hey, for me that is pretty much all sex, so I guess that isn’t much help.
I get kind of tired about the whole debate of “is it pee or is it different.” First, that’s been pretty adequately proven in the past few years, and second, even if there WAS a little pee, seriously? We’re going to worry about that? It’s sterile! But whatever.
Ejaculation, to me, isn’t some holy grail of sex. Non-ejaculatory sex is just as good for me, and hey, there is less mopping up afterward. It makes me sad when people put pressure on themselves or on a partner to get to some particular destination in sex. To me, that’s just not the point. If the point is pleasuring your partner, just where does it come in to have some goal in mind? Goal-oriented sex is usually the worst.
I am glad that FE has come out of the closet, so to speak. It’s nice to know that your body is having a normal experience, and it IS nice to be with a partner who enjoys it when it happens, but doesn’t give it a second thought if it doesn’t.