So.. it’s been a long time since I’ve actually addressed any reader mail on my blog. Usually I write directly back to people who are looking for something obscure. I don’t write back at all when it’s someone asking to find, say, a category of niche sites that we very clearly have, and they could find on their own simply by visiting our review index and READING.

But, an email yesterday sparked me to write about a very common (in my inbox anyhow) request. While I won’t reprint the entire thing, the gist was

I’ve tried to find some websites where I can upload pictures of my penis, but they seem to be dominated by gay men. Do you know of any sites where I can submit photos (free is preferred) and the audience is primarily heterosexual and female? Thanks much for your assistance.

As I mentioned, this is a request I hear quite a bit. In sharing many an anecdote with other women over the years, I feel fairly safe in saying such a thing doesn’t really exist. In my years of online experience, I just have not encountered any significant female audience interested in photos of penises. Usually the person most interested in it is the person it’s attached to. Now this is not to say that women are anti-penis, obviously heterosexual women are not. However, I still have not encountered many women who want to look at pictures of them, regardless of how much they might enjoy one inside of them.

I think exhibitionism is a fine thing, it’s nice to be comfortable in your own body, happy with your body image, and so on. But online (and this is important) you don’t get to control who sees the images you post, or what they might fantasize about as they do so. If you are uncomfortable with that idea, then posting images online is a bad idea. There WILL be people looking at your photos that you wouldn’t want to sit next to on a bus. There might be people looking at them that fit your criteria of your fantasy viewer, but there might not. So: my best advice, if you can deal with the fact that you are giving up control of the viewing of your image, is to get really good at fantasizing on your own about who is viewing it.

~Jane