Hardwood Dildos by Hans

reviewed by alwaysarousedgirl on Mon 9 Jul 2007


Ever had the urge to slide a solid piece of hard, smooth wood into your pussy or your bottom?

To tell the truth, before two weeks ago I hadn’t either. But after having a look at the wares available at Hardwood Dildos by Hans, I had to try one.

Hans uses pieces of wood left over from other projects. He does not purchase any of the wood he uses for these toys so as to minimize the impact on forests.

Cool. A nature-friendly sex toy.

Every piece made by Hans is unique. He uses the natural shape of each individual piece of wood to direct the final appearance of the toy. When Hans has a grouping of dildos completed, he photographs them and then lists them on his site for purchase. When a dildo has been claimed by a buyer, he removes its listing from the site. Your chosen dildo will be one-of-a-kind.

A nature-friendly sex toy that is absolutely unique? Very cool.

I had a great time looking through Hans’ selections of dildos, which can be sorted either by price or by type of wood. You could decide on a dildo made from something as common as oak or as exotic as mbuyu, a deep-brown wood from Africa.

Some other companies’ wooden dildos are formed on a lathe, meaning that they are carved as they spin around an axis. Because Hans does not use a lathe, instead choosing to carve by hand, he can product dildos that are curved and more detailed than lathed toys. Sanding is clearly of the utmost importance in a wooden toy meant to be used in your most sensitive parts. Hans sands each toy extensively and then finishes it with at least five coats of a food-grade varnish.

No stains or other toxic products are used on these toys. They can be cleaned with soap and water and then dried thoroughly. All lubes are safe to use as well.

There’s a shape of toy at Hardwood Dildos for every need. They range from short, straight pieces with smooth shafts to longer, fatter pieces with sexy twists, curves and ripples. If you have a special request for a style you’d like to buy, Hans will work with you to come up with a suitable product.

The dildo Hans sent me for review is absolutely gorgeous. It’s surface is utterly smooth; I had no qualms about using the toy for its intended purpose. Gazing into the toy’s finish gives the impression of deepness, like what you’d see in high-quality furniture. My toy is about 7 1/2″ long and 1 1/2″ wide. It’s made of walnut and features a slightly curved, rippled shaft with a flared base.

A kind friend assisted me in trying out my Hardwood Dildo. It felt as smooth as glass inside of me, and the toy’s shape and harness worked as a wonderful lever against my g-spot. My friend easily made me gush with the toy, and he reported that he loved the novelty of seeing a piece of wood disappearing inside of me.

Cleaning the toy was no problem. I just made sure to dry it carefully, because I want to be able to use it for many more years to come.

Even if you’re not immediately in the market for a wooden sex-toy (though come on, why wouldn’t you be?), go have a look at Hardwood Dildos by Hans. I think you’ll be very impressed with the amazing selection of shapes and sizes.

Hardwood Dildos by Hans
Available at Hardwood Dildos by Hans
prices from $59 to $139
sizes vary by piece