Milkmaid Dildo from Studio Oooms

reviewed by AlwaysArousedGirl on Sun 25 May 2008

So let’s just say you’re on the hunt for a great gift for the person who has every other toy on the planet. What could possibly be more unique than the Milkmaid Dildo from Studio Oooms?

Studio Oooms has created a line of art pieces that are both ingenious and humorous. Visit their site to see USB sticks encased in chunks of tree branches (so awesome!), cabinets whose doors cannot all be shut at once (so subversive!), hats made out of real human hair (so creepy!) and small huts that can be placed in urban settings for the purpose of clandestine observation (so sneaky!).

The Milkmaid Dildo is part of Studio Oooms’ “Dutch Souvenirs” project, which pokes fun at the sorts of small gifts people typically bring back from the Netherlands. Made of white hollow ceramics, the dildo shows an image of a pensive milkmaid tending her flock. The design is rendered in shades of blue, and the piece is completed with a cork plugging the product’s end.

A small card tucked into the dildo’s packaging warns that the piece is intended as art and not a hard-core sex toy. Mine certainly feels plenty smooth and sturdy for use in the vagina (don’t even consider sticking it up the heiney, as it has no flange), but I think I’ll keep the Milkmaid for display purposes only.

Owning this piece has opened up a whole line of thinking for me. See, years ago my grandmother collected salt shakers from around the world. Anytime she or a friend traveled somewhere, they’d bring back a set that somehow exemplified the place in question. She stored her collection in a hand-made display cabinet; if asked, she could tell you the history of how she acquired each set.

I would so love to see Studio Oooms’ example catch on. How much more beautiful and useful would be a collection of Dildos from ‘Round the World? Wouldn’t we all love to see a dildo painted with Niagara Falls? Or Mount Rushmore? Or the Great Wall of China? Or the Eiffel Tower? Wouldn’t those make more interesting display pieces than shot glasses or silver spoons?

I sure think so.

So if you’re looking for a gift for someone who has everything — including a great sense of humor — check out the amazing designs from Studio Oooms.

Milkmaid Dildo from Studio Oooms
Available at Studio Oooms
8.7" x 0.8"
approximately $167 UDS (130 Euros)