reviewed by AlwaysArousedGirl on Sat 4 Oct 2008
See the image on the label of Coco de Mer’s Ruby Sunrise Lubricant? What does it look like to you? I ask, because when I first took the bottle out of its pink tissue-paper wrapped purple box, I said to myself, “Oh, that’s nice. It’s a picture of a priestess. She’s even wearing a little crown.”
But then I looked closer. That’s not a a priestess. It’s a vulva. And a vulva on a bottle of lube is so much cooler than a priestess!
Inside the bottle is a very thick fluid meant to flavor oral sex and provide slipperiness to all sexual activities. Delivery is accomplished either by pouring or by an included pump.
I had very high expectations from Ruby Sunrise because of Coco de Mer’s reputation, as well as its beautiful presentation. You just don’t wrap up a bad product in a gorgeous package and sell it at a high-end retailer, do you?
Dear readers, I tasted the lube, and it was … oh boy. It was really really bad. I would never want to taste Ruby Sunrise is any context whatsoever, and I’d especially never want to lick it from a lover’s body. For me there was a chemically, metallic flavor that was utterly unbearable. I had to rinse my mouth out. And get a mint.
Surely, I thought to myself while sucking on the mint, surely it can’t be that bad. So I pulled out the bottle of Ruby Sunrise with a lover the next day. I added a streak of it to the upper curve of my breast and offered it to my friend; he licked it off and pronounced the flavor “not bad.”
“It’s not chemically to you?” I questioned as he continued the exploration of my breast.
“No, not bad at all,” he murmured. “But I’m not sure that anything eaten off your breast could be bad.”
Realizing that his viewpoint might not be exactly unbiased, I took the pretty bottle with me to dinner with a friend. I placed it on the table between us. “Taste this,” I demanded, before she’d even gotten a chance to sample the chips and salsa.
Everyone should have a friend who will sample your lube in the middle of a busy restaurant. “Nice vulva,” she said, then poured a bit into a spoon. She sniffed it. “Very sweet,” she pronounced. She tasted it. “Oh, very sweet.” She ran it over her tongue. “Hm, it does have an odd taste. But it’s not bad. It’s just very sweet to me.”
I moved on to trying out Ruby Sunrise’s lubricating properties. Later that night! Not in the restaurant! I tried it with a pretty glass dildo, and found it to be really not very good at providing long-lasting slipperiness. It dried way too quickly for me and left me with a feeling of stickiness that I did not appreciate.
I’m going to assume that for whatever reason, I was very sensitive to one of the components of Ruby Sunrise. One of the flavorings, perhaps? Or a colorant? Judging by the reactions of my friends, not everyone will have the same extreme dislike that I experienced.