It was one of those insanely hot weeks where despite the constant running of the air conditioner I was never really free from sweat.  Temperatures hit the upper 90s and humidity pushed the heat index well over 100.  It was during this time that I broke out my vibrating ice dildo from Icegasm.

It had sat in my freezer for a few weeks just waiting for the right moment.  I couldn’t bear the thought of having it near my naughty bits on anything but the very hottest of days.  But when finally the time was right, I gathered the components while my partner watched on.  “What are you going to do with that?” he asked nervously as I pulled the ice tray from the freezer.

“I’m going to put it in your ass.”  I ran warm water over the tray in an effort to dislodge the slender cubes.

“You most certainly are not!” he said, at the same time working a battery into the end of the vibrating handle.  He knew I was only kidding him — I think.  Or maybe he just knew that he could overpower me if I actually tried to put ice down his pants.

I had quite a bit of trouble freeing the ice from its tray; despite my best efforts with water and gentle coercion, two of the icicles broke off in the mold.  The other two finally came free.  A protruding screw allowed the ice to be married to the handle, which is actually a modified water-resistant pocket rocket.  Once activated, the whole contraption buzzed very gently.

We retired to the bedroom and placed the Icegasm on the bedside table. I’d intended to try it out right away but my partner had other ideas.  The toy melted silently (and surprisingly slowly) for a good hour while he warmed me up.  After a particularly inspiring round of buttsex he rolled me over, pried open my legs and applied the chilly treat to my pussy.

I can honestly say that the first second of frigid buzzing was exquisite.  The contrast between hot and cold felt amazing.  I’m pretty sure I screamed a little, in the very best of ways.  But after that first second the chill became unbearable.  I had to clap my legs together in an effort to bring my poor vulva’s temperature back to tolerable levels.

So this is what we did over the next several minutes:  One-second touches preceded twenty-second periods where I couldn’t bear to be touched.  Eventually it all got to be too much.  No amount of leg-clenching warmed me up and I had to call an end to our icy little experiment, at least to the part occurring between my legs.

On the body in general I had a lot more tolerance for cold, so not all was an utter failure.  However, I didn’t see much purpose for vibrating my arm (for example). Even on my clit I barely felt the vibrations because I was so focused on not getting frostbite.

When the ice melts, you’ll find there’s not as much mess as you might expect.  A washcloth sufficed to catch drips while the toy waited for us and a towel beneath my bottom kept the bed dry during use.  If you’re really concerned about leakage, keep Icegasm in a plastic cup before use, or try it out in the shower or bath-tub.  Come to think of it, this approach might make the cold a little more tolerable.

After playtime, wash the mold and caps in warm soapy water.  Use the mold to organize the components for later use; a convenient hole in the middle stores the vibrating handle.

I’d suggest Icegasm only for folks who really enjoy and can tolerate the exquisite torture of chilly genitals.  For everyone else, a plain old ice cube will be more than sufficient.

Of all the sexy products I’ve ever owned, the Killer Bunny Flogger made by Madame Giggles has been my cats’ favorite.

From the moment I pulled it from the box they were all over it, sniffing, pawing and nomming.  I slid off the sock-like fabric cover, allowing the bunny falls to come free, and oh wow weren’t my kitties happy.  I could not turn their interest, so I placed the flogger on the floor so that they could safely explore.  The wrestled it enthusiastically until finally I had to take it away.

I find it amusing in a perverse sort of way that the kitties love something that looks so much like their own bodies.  Is it evident from the image above?  Instead of bunny fur, these floggers could be mistaken for disembodied cat tails.  This is cool and somewhat creepy all at once.

Madame Giggles set out to make a bunny flogger different from all the other bunny floggers on the market.  Those are almost exclusively capable only of sensual stroking and teasing tickling.  The Killer Bunny can do these things and much more. Working with long strips of fur, Madame Giggles hand-stitches a close-ended tube then weights each individually.  Handles are made of wood with a braided leather cover.

The heaviness of the flogger means that it can pack a really strong wallop, if you’re strong enough to wield it for long. It is without a doubt the heaviest flogger I’ve ever held and it will tire out the arm during use.  If it’s any indication, the weight of the flogger broke the slender hanging ribbon that comes looped around the handle after one short week of storage time.  It’s easily repaired, but consider yourself warned:  This is one heavy toy.  Nevertheless, it feels great on the skin.  I enjoyed it for the softest touches and the hardest hits.  I’d describe the sensation as surprisingly thuddy, with a hint of a sting if the tails catch just right.

Killer Bunnies can be ordered in single-tail or nine-tail configurations with lengths ranging from 12″ to 32″.  Madame Giggles designs these to order, so be imaginative when selecting fur color, leather color and length.

Choose Madame Giggles’ Killery Bunny if you want an absolutely unique flogger capable of strong sensation and gentle strokes for your favorite bottoms as well as hours of amusement for your feline friends.

Jimmyjane’s gorgeous Little Chroma is a classic slimline vibe.  In fact it’s such a classic that we’re giving it a second look after two and a half years, and in that time some things have certainly changed.

First (and possible most importantly) the price has significantly dropped.  It used to sell for a steep $165, but now some colors can be had for less than a single benjamin.  Nifty.  If an unadorned solid color isn’t fancy enough for your favorite vagina, check out some of the artist-designed special edition versions now available at Jimmyjane.com.

One of the coolest things about Little Chroma is that if you wear out the vibrating motor, $35 will buy you a new one directly from Jimmyjane.  I’m terribly hard on my vibes (perhaps because I use them for an hour at a stretch, ahem), so I love this option.  The motor looks exactly like an AA battery, but don’t worry about tossing it out by mistake.  It’s clearly labeled in big, friendly letters.

Little Chroma is one of the quietest vibes I’ve ever experienced.  The only time it’s not nearly silent is when you first turn it on, and then only because the cap won’t be screwed down firmly enough to prevent the battery from rattling a bit.  Once you get past this point, however, the vibe cannot be heard at arm’s length.  This is an excellent quality in any vibe you’re planning on using in a shared space.

There’s a tiny hole in Little Chroma’s end through which one could thread a cord for retrieval during anal usage.  Honestly though, I wouldn’t.  Use it on the anus but not for insertion.  Your fancy vibe will lose its cachet once the emergency room doctors have removed it from your colon.

I’ve enjoyed tucking this tiny vibe into my pillow for quick wank sessions before bed.  It’s so tiny that it’s easily hidden away, but don’t let the size fool you.  Little Chroma is nicely powerful, even though there’s just one speed.  I enjoyed it the most when used in conjunction with my partner’s penetration.  The small size make it easy to position between bodies during intercourse or in conjunction with dildo play.

The only thing I didn’t like about Little Chroma is the fact that you must loosen the battery compartment cover in order to turn off the vibe.  This, to me, is a huge pain in the butt, because when I’m done with a vibe I can barely summon the wherewithal to click a single button.  Negotiating a tiny cap that threatens to fall off and set loose battery and motor to skitter across my bed (and no doubt lodge in the small of my back just when I want to get cuddly) is not very convenient.

Going too far makes the cap fall off, while not going far enough leaves the vibe buzzing so gently that you won’t even know it unless you put it down on a hard surface, in which case Little Chroma will merrily dance away and concurrently run down your batteries.  I wish the vibe had a discrete “off” position marked by a little click.  Is that too much to ask for from a high-end vibe?

Even with a sketchy off switch, I’m absolutely certain that I’ll use Little Chroma again and again.  I’ll be interested in seeing how long the motor lasts with the kind of use I can dish out.

SmartBalls Teneo Duo from Babeland are the newest incarnation of classic SmartBalls, arguably the most beloved vaginal balls ever.  From everything I’ve heard these are even better, if that’s possible.

Why are they so great?  Let’s talk about cheap vaginal balls for a moment.  You can get them at any sex store for less than ten bucks, but they’re definitely not worth your time.  They’re not joined together, so it’s more difficult to remove them when the fun’s over.  Also, they’re often painted in fake gold paint, which peels off.  Ew.  No one wants fake gold paint peeling off in the coochie.  At least I don’t.

In contrast, the Teneo balls are made of silicone and elastomer, which means they’re soft, smooth and easy to clean.  Firmly attached to each other and to a removal cord, you won’t have any trouble getting them out when you’re ready to move on to other pleasurers.  And they’re made by FunFactory, one of the most respected and innovative sex toy makers in the world.

Some try vaginal balls to improve muscle tone, and that’s certainly an excellent use for them.  Insert one or both, then practice gentle squeezes with all your pelvic might.  Regular practice is said to help with bladder control; it’s all really cool to clench on a penis during penetration.  My partner says it’s super swell.  They’re also nice to leave in place while receiving oral sex.  Just don’t put them in the ass.  There are much better products for this purpose.

I like to use SmartBalls before sex as a warm up.  I especially like to put them in a couple of hours before sex as I’m running around, readying the bedroom, showering and et cetera.  All that movement makes the heavy balls inside the soft silicone cover bounce around wonderfully.  Move just the right way and they’ll gently tap the g-spot.  If you’ve got to drive to the store for a last-minute bottle of wine, even better.  Cornering while wearing SmartBalls is awesome.

I’ve driven around the block a few extra times just for the fun of cornering while wearing them.  Let’s keep that just between us, shall we?

SmartBalls Teneo Duo will set you back a bit more than the cheap “gold” ben wa balls, but they are definitely worth it.  Unless of course you want to gild your vagina.

If I were a guy, I would keep some sort of masturbation device with me at all times.  Sure, maybe just my hand would work, but I’d want something more.  Lube would be a great start, but I think that if I had a dick (and no willing partner) I’d want to slide it into something that felt as much as possible like another person.

No one does male masturbation devices like Tenga, a Japanese company whose wares are available in the US through ToyDemon.com.  Tenga’s entire line of toys is based on the ideas of discretion and ease of use.  Many of their other products look like toiletries; they could easily masquerade behind a dude’s body wash without anyone guessing that they were a jack-off toys.

Their newest toy looks even less like an adult product.  The Tenga Egg consists of a hard plastic egg shape which conceals a masturbation sleeve and lube.  Remove the label, crack open the egg and out pops a squishy white blob.  “This is it?” my partner and I asked each other, rubbing the soft nubbin in our hands.  “What in the world are we supposed to do with this?”

After a few moments of goofing off we realized that the white blob held a small plastic tube filled with a foil packet of lube.  We tossed out the tube, then I made to ready my partner for entering the egg.  Unfortunately I readied him a little too much.  Before I knew it I was bent over the couch and the egg was forgotten, clutched in my hand.  “How’d this get on my thumb?” I asked later, once we settled down.

He had no idea, but we made use of the time by testing the stretchability of the Tenga Egg.  We found that it could very easily be turned inside out, placed over a hand, or pulled out like gooey candy.  No one needs to worry about this product fitting.  I know it looks small.  But I promise that that it will fit any man.

After once again getting my pal to a suitable state of hardness, I dripped the very thick lube into the egg and placed it over the head of his cock.  It sat there like a blob of sputum (ew) until I worked my hand over it and began stroking him.  His face bore the signs of extreme enjoyment, so I decided to ramp things up by placing my mouth over the covered head of his cock.  The material had no taste, and while I’m not sure that he could feel very much through the Egg, he did appreciate the visual.

At about the time my partner got that look in his eyes like he was about to eat me alive, I noticed that some of the Egg was begining to slough away on his dick.  Only a little came off, but it was not a pleasant sight.  Additionally, the lube ended up extremely sticky.  We found it necessary to do a thorough clean-up before moving on to other pleasures.

The Tenga Egg is really designed to be a one-use toy, but if you’re feeling thrifty there’s no reason you can’t turn it inside out, wash it with warm soapy water and let it dry before the next use.  You won’t be able to do this forever, but it should last through several uses before too much of the Egg’s interior sloughs off.  And the price is certainly good:  Toss one in your luggage before a trip away from home and for under $9 you’re set for several days of solo fun.

You don’t have to spend tons of money on a fancy custom piece in order to get your spank on.  Sometimes even a $20 rubber flogger will do the trick.

WhipSmart’s line of cute, affordable floggers is available in your choice of nine sexy colors.  I got mine in a sweet deep purple; it matches nicely with my favorite sexy chemise.  Dozens of long rubber strands fall from the handle, which consists of a clear plastic tube with wooden balls on either end.

A loop on the handle’s end allows it to slip over your wrist or a hook.  Better have smallish wrists though, because the loop is not particularly generous.

A rubber whip of this length will produce an impressive and attention-grabbing swishing noise as it races toward someone’s backside.  It will not, however, deliver a great deal of pain.  This is perfect for a beginner who wants to practice flogging without much danger of doing harm.  It’s also great for a sub who is nervous about too much strong sensation.

Going full-out, I had a hard time causing more than a startled yelp from my test-bottom, and the yelp was more from surprise than discomfort.  Also, dragging the long rubber strands over skin is particularly effective in building anticipation for what’s to come.

As an additional bonus (er, I think it’s a bonus), cats love this product. Mine had a blast batting at it as I dangled it above their noses. However, you’ll want to keep this whip in an inaccessible location when you’re not there to supervise. I wandered off for a bit; when I came back both my kitties were gnawing on the tails. I’m no veterinarian, but I think we can safely agree that rubber is not on the approved menu for pets. Keep this in mind when you choose where your whip will be stored.

Because I have little children (many, many little children), I prefer my sex-toys small and easily concealed.  If they cannot be small and easily concealed; if they are in fact large are obvious, then they should double as childish amusements.

I love the fact that the Liberator products I’ve owned thus far have fit this bill perfectly.  The Liberator Throe?  Perfect back-of-the-couch cuddle blanket.  It morphs into a delightful child’s tent.  The Esse?  It’s a mountain.  It’s an ocean wave.  It’s a fort.  Genius!

Taking its place next to these products is the Liberator Escape, which is what you’d get if the Throe and a mattress birthed a child.  This now lives in my family room; it’s been repurposed by the children into a gymnastics mat and folded into a sturdy dwelling.

Now before you get all squicked out by the idea of little children playing on this sort of thing, let me tell you one of the very best characteristics of Liberator products.  They are eminently washable.  Lots of things claim to be washable, but they come out of the wash looking pathetic.  Not this stuff.  I’ve washed the covers of my Esse and Escape numerous times and the Throe (the entire thing fits in the wash) literally dozens upon dozens of times.  Every time they come out looking better and feeling softer than before.

And you wouldn’t believe how fuzz-resistant these things are.  I have cats, and glory be!  Cat fur does not stick to the Escape.  The cats lounge upon the Escape without leaving behind their hair.  I have no idea how this can be possible, but I’m certainly not going to complain about it.

After allowing my kids to break in the Escape for a number of days (during which I was down with the flu and thinking about sleeping instead of fucking), I moved it up to my bedroom just in time for a hot date.  I considered placing it atop my bed for some extra-cushy fun, but decided instead to use it on the floor.

If I’d had my druthers, we would have hauled it outdoors for fun in the open air, but my partner outright refused even to consider this proposal.  Something about it being “November” and “too cold” and “an offense worthy of breaking up over.”  Whatevs.

I discovered one summer while doing the horizontal mambo under a tree that I am a headbanger.  This became apparent the next morning, when a tender spot bloomed on the back of my skull.  I so wish I’d had the Escape with me then, because when I coerced my beloved onto the Escape with me (in my toasty warm bedroom), when he fucked me right good, when I banged my head repeatedly on the floor, I was in no danger of concussion.  Cool.

Later he fisted me on the Escape.  The surface soaked up our lubes-n-fluids with ease while an underlying waterproof cover kept the Escape’s foam core dry.

The entire time we played and cuddled on the Escape I never had the sensation of hitting bottom.  The foam is not particularly thick (maybe two inches?) but it is incredibly firm.  This is a wonderful characteristic of this product, and it’s what makes the Escape far better for erotic adventures than any random pile of blankets or other portable mattress.

All the Escape needs for complete perfection would be an integrated carrying strap.  It folds pretty nicely into thirds but tucking it under your arm for portage is just a big old pain in the behind.  Liberator, couldn’t you sew a hook-n-loop strap to one side of the Escape?  Alas, I fear they will not listen to this small criticism, because they also sell a carrying case for the Escape.  I think a strap would be better.  Just sayin’.

At 50″x72″, the smaller size was perfect for my partner and myself.  A larger size is also available if your friends would like to join in the fun.

Use it for a picnic, for a concert, for movie night in front of the fire or for fucking.  The Escape provides a cushy waterproof surface for all your ground-based activities.

Check out this video with more suggestions on how to use your Liberator Escape, including making yourself into a “sensual dessert.”  Nom nom nom.

Coco de Mer sells some of the most exquisitely luxurious adult supplies in the world, and the Bondage for Freedom Blindfold and Cuff set is no exception.

Previously I tried their Ruby Sunrise Lubricant, and oh boy I was not a fan.  But one less-than-stellar experience with a company’s products does not serve as an indicator of everything on a website, so I kept high hopes that I’d like the Bondage Set better.

And I do.  Made from 100% silk and featuring subtle orange embroidery, the set felt luscious on the skin and did exactly what it was designed to do.  I blindfolded a pal; she reported that even when tied tightly she was perfectly comfortable.  She also coudln’t see, which was exactly what my other friend and I wanted as we laid her out on the bed and proceeded to flog her silly.

Later, we bound her wrists, just for fun you know.  I liked that the Bondage for Freedom cuffs have a reinforced slit in the middle, so we could artfully slip the ends through the slit to keep her secure as we did other nefarious things to her.  This makes it much simplier for the novice knotter such as myself to secure her playmates.

Even better, when you purchase this item you’re helping Coco de Mer support charities worldwide which encourage freedom and human rights.  Additionally, this set is made in India at a fair trade project.

Let’s recap.  Coco de Mer’s Bondage for Freedom Blindfold and Cuff set works well, feels great, is made ethically, and helps support human rights charities.  Really, this set could only be better if it also did the dishes for you.

I caught a glimpse of a paddle from Leather Thorn Paddles on a blog devoted to the art of turning pretty bottoms pink and immediately I knew that I needed one.

Not, mind you, that I wanted one. I needed one, and so with blatant paddle-lust in my heart I sent off an email to Leather Thorn’s proprietor, John. He suggested the Turntail Rosy as a good choice for a relative novice such as myself, and within the space of a few short days the implement was in my hands.

And oh-my-goodness isn’t it a pretty one.  The rich scent of leather almost brought me to my knees as I lifted the toy reverently out of its nondescript mailing package.  I turned it in my hands, admiring the heavy stitching and maker’s mark on the handle, as well as the pretty brown leather on the paddle’s business end.

But the most remarkable thing about the Turntail Rosy paddle is the leather-working on the paddle’s business end.  One side is perfectly smooth while the other features a gorgeous pattern that looks almost like fish or dragon scales.  I showed it proudly to my spanking-loving friend.  “It looks like a beaver’s tail,” she pointed out, and while I cannot lay claim to having ever seen a beaver’s tail up close, I’d have to agree.

Whatever it looks like, it’s visually stunning.  It’s also pretty stunning on the skin.  The smooth side feels thumpy and hard to me, while the decorated side feels more stingy.  A delicate hand is definitely needed for beginners, however; the heaviness of the paddle means that it can deliver quite a wallop.

Leather Thorn paddles are crafted by hand in Kentucky.  I found the prices to be more than reasonable, especially considering their high-quality craftsmanship.  John is happy to accept special requests for shapes and designs not featured on his site; these products will take extra time to ship.

And now that this review is written, I believe I have someone to spank.  Later!

Previously I had the pleasure of trying out Jimmyjane’s Sensory Set M.  It was so much fun I just had to get my hands on the “I” Contour Massage Stone to round out the set.

It arrived from Babeland during a particularly busy week.  I left the “I” on my counter for several days as I waited for time to explore it in a leisurely manner.  I was surprised at the amount of attention it received.  “What’s that?” my kids asked on a chilly rainy-soaked morning, so I rubbed it gently across their wee shoulders as they giggled.

“Is that for massage?” asked a friend who’d stopped by for a cup of tea.  I nodded yes, then  demonstrated by running the stone up and down her arms.

“It looks like a bone,” said another friend when I showed him pictures of the stone via instant messenger, and because this particular friend has a unique interest in our bodies’ support structures, I promised to send the “I” to him once I finished with it.

Made from glassy white ceramic, the stone glides over the skin smoothly whether assisted by lube or not.  “Jimmyjane” is imprinted in silvery ink along the toy’s shaft.  A tiny depression left over from the manufacturing process hides right below one of the balls.  This is every so slightly less smooth than the surrounding surface but should in no way be considered a defect.  The stone is surprisingly light and easy to handle.  You may find yourself unconsciously rolling it across your hands if it’s nearby.

“I” can of course be used alone, but it also fits nicely with the “M” stone.  One can hold the “M” and use it to glide the “I” across a partner’s back or her own thighs.  Whether you use it with lube or without, in a pair or alone, these stones are fabulous little creations to have on hand for whenever massage is needed.

And now I suppose I should send off my “I” with the very best wishes to my bone-loving friend.  I hope he has as much fun with it as I’ve had.