“Oh look, it’s ready for bed,” pointed out my partner after I shoved my brand-new, unopened Athena Glass Dildo from Babeland across the table to him.  I peered over to see what he was talking about.

Turns out that Athena nestles into a form-fitting piece of foam layered with a silky white drape.  Atop Athena rests a pink cloth meant for polishing the toy.  He had it tucked up around the toy’s midsection.  Taken as a whole Athena looked look like a slender blue snake put down for a nap.  Or tucked away in a coffin.  Er, let’s stick with the napping idea, shall we?

Out of the box you’ll notice Athena’s rich blue color (Babeland shows it only in pink at the moment) accented by a swirly white “L” on the toy’s larger end.  The piece is elegant, simple and gorgeous, with looks nondescript enough that it could be displayed as an art piece.

It’s also enormously functional.  The small end is a good size for an anal novice, and super-slippery glass means easy entry for anyone.  Athena’s boomerang-like curve allows the toy to be angled quite well during self-stimulation or with a partner.  Lots of other glass toys feature ripples, swirls and nubbins; Athena’s simplicity is a nice contrast to other busier products.

The manufacturer, Luxotiq, recommends washing this lovely glass dildo in warm water with antibacterial soap, or rinsing with a 10% bleach solution if sterilization is required.  They advise against cleaning the toy in a dishwasher.

Buy Athena if you like low-key, classic design in your sex toys.  And make sure to tuck it back into bed after every use.

A big part of the charm glass dildos hold for me is the fact that they are generally gorgeous.  The crystalline glass, shimmering colors, swirls, exquisitely formed curves — all of these things make the sometimes hefty price tag on these sex toys worth it.

I’m sorry to say that the Hornet (available from GlassDildoz.com and manufactured by RubyGlass21.com) misses the mark as far as beauty is concerned.  I mean, I understand the look they were aiming for here.  Yellow and black like the nasty stinging insect, right?  But the yellow looks too much like watered-down tea for my taste, and the black seems matte instead of shiny.  Together the combination is less than appetizing.  Many glass dildos look utterly lickable, like a combination of jewelry and frozen adult beverage.  You just want to put them in your mouth.  The Hornet?  I wanted to wash it.  Repeatedly.

Also, I had a real problem with the Hornet’s base.  I’m not sure why RubyGlass21.com bucked the trend of putting disk-shaped bases on standing glass toys.  Instead, Hornet’s base is asymmetrical:  The side toward the curve juts out while the side opposite the curve is nearly non-existent.  Was this meant to make it look unique?  I suppose it does, but it also makes it mighty unstable.  Putting it back on the nightstand with shaky hands after use turned into a hazardous event.

Nevertheless, Hornet’s overall shape is very nice.  The curve allows the user great access to the g-spot, while the otherwise faulty base offers a good handhold and protection against the toy slipping all the way inside if it’s used in the bottom.  The swirls of black glass feel great entering and exiting (and entering and exiting again and again and again).

And like other glass products, Hornet is super-easy to clean.  Hot soapy water will do the trick for your standard every-day cleaning, while a trip through the dishwasher (top shelf, no detergent) will disinfect the toy if you plan on sharing it with another partner.

While I don’t find the Hornet particularly attractive, others certainly might.  In the words of the brilliant Benjamin Franklin, “Iin the dark all Cats are grey.”

Those who love gorgeous, high-quality toys will appreciate the Flow dildo, available at Blowfish.com.

Why will they appreciate it?  Let me count the ways.  First, Alumina Flow is manufactured by Tantus, which makes some of the healthiest, most functional sex toys ever.  I’ve never had a bad toy from Tantus, and I’ve tried a bunches of ‘em.

Next, the Flow’s two ends mean double the fun.  The smaller end works well for beginner anal play, while the larger end does a great job at just about everything.  If you’re using Flow anally, don’t go past the rubber gasket.  It’s too pretty to get stuck in the butt.

Do you need more reasons that Flow is fabulous?  How about this:  The toy unscrews at the center, so its parts can be exchanged with other toys in the Alumina line.  I absolutely love rearranging my sex toys, and when I find a toy whose parts can be interchanged, I’m in heaven.  Want a thinner handle with a bloopier end?  Or a pointy handle with a rounded end?  Buy more than one Alumina toy and have fun.

Even more reasons?  Flow can be sterilized after use, which is great if you’re using it for anal play or multiple partners.  It can be chilled or warmed (very gently, please) if you want an extra-intense sensation on the skin.  And the super-smooth aluminum finish feels great with just a tiny bit of lube.

The Flow comes packaged in a sweet black padded box.  Slip it into a gift bag and hand it off to your favorite perv.  Fun times for all!

The Big Foot Case from For Your Nymphomation will solve almost all of your toy storage needs.

At about the size of a standard toiletries case, the Big Foot Case will easily round up a whole family of vibrators, dildos or other fun accessories.  The base consists of a large open area with two pockets and two elastic loops lining the sides.  The product’s lid houses another elastic loop, perfect for a rolled up hand towel, piece of lingerie or one last sex toy.

The Big Foot Case is considerably deeper than many other toy storage cases.  This is a really nice characteristic because you can store bottles of lube or massage oil standing up, reducing the chances that you’ll end up with hot-cinnamon-scented butt lube all over your entire toy box, if you know what I’m saying.

A tiny silver lock decorated with the company logo is included, as is a pair of keys.  The zipper pulls are glow in the dark, which is just insanely useful if you’re gettin’ busy in the dark and you need the very last condom from your Big Foot Case.  Not that I’m speaking from personal experience here.  Nope.  Just surmising.

Currently, my Big Foot contains: Chemistry IV, a small bottle of lube, a metal box filled with condoms, one glass buttplug, two glass dildos, a large silicone vibrator, a wooden dildo, a silicone dildo, a leather dildo, a rubber whip, and a set of silk bondage scarves in a carrying bag.  Oh, and a cock ring with its recharger.

Some might call this excessive.  I call it “a good Tuesday night.”

One criticism I had in the past with FYN’s cases was the locking mechanism.  It was unfortunately not the most secure thing in the world; simply twisting one small jump ring would allow the lock to slide right off.

I’m happy to say that this flaw has been rectified in the new generation of FYN cases, including the Big Foot.  Four small sturdy metal loops slide together, ensuring that the lock cannot be pried off.  This makes the case much less vulnerable to attacks by curious children or in-laws.

Check out the rest of For Your Nymphomation’s wares for even more toy storage solutions.  Their line runs from tiny condom cases to extra-large rolling toy chests, along with speciality BDSM cases perfect for floggers or canes.  They even sell an innocent all-white bridal collection.

So I was sitting around the other night watching gay porn on the internet, when all of a sudden I found myself extraordinarily horny.

Hm, wonder why?

I just happened to have the Duke vibe from Babeland hidden not too far away from my desk, so I tucked that bad boy into my panties and kept on surfin’ the gay porn. Yummy.

Duke is a petite blue dynamo; the tireless Babeland product testers rate the toy’s intensity in the range of 2-3 (out of 5), but I found it quite satisfyingly strong nestled against my clit. The toy is made from soft, flexible, phthalate-free rubber, which feels nicely squishy against the skin as well as in the vagina.

Phthlate-free is great, and I really did like Duke’s texture, but this kind of rubber is just a hint…well…sticky. Hard plastic provides a much better “slide” over your naughty bits. Duke tended to grab at me, and especially at my pubic hair, ow! I’d suggest that you have plenty of lube on hand to ameliorate the stickiness factor.

Other than that small complaint, Duke doesn’t fail to delight. Vibrations are concentrated in the tip of the toy, which makes it perfect for clit stimulation. It’s firm enough so that you can thrust with it effectively, but not so hard that you’ll put your eye out (or bruise your vulva) if your thrusting goes astray.

Duke’s a cute little vibe at an affordable price. You’ll like it if you prefer softer toys with strong buzzy power.