Want to jack off with less of an environmental impact?  Take a look at Babeland’s Earth Angel, which the manufacturer calls the world first 100% green sex toy.  It’s also made in Ireland; in fact it is the only sex toy currently produced in that lovely country.

What exactly makes Earth Angel environmentally friendly?  First, it comes in a plastic box made of recyclable material.  The toy itself requires no batteries and can be recycled when the time is right by simply sending it back to the manufacturer.  Doing so also nets the owner a 15% discount on a future purchase.

I had my doubts about a vibrator with no batteries.  But like everyone, I’ve felt the keening disappointment of a wank ended far too soon by dead or dying batteries.  Even rechargeable vibes eventually run down, and charging them up again can take hours.  I hoped that Earth Angel would loose me from battery-driven dependence forever.

I’m so happy to report that Earth Angel performed remarkably well.  My partner and I took it to bed fresh out of the box.  The toy needs to be cranked for only four minutes to produce a 30-minute buzz, or eight minutes for a full hour’s worth of pleasure.  He cranked while I waited impatiently.  Too impatiently.  Finally I asked him to put the toy in me while cranking it, and with only a few minor setbacks we finished charging the toy in this delightful manner.

A red light glows to show that charging is going as planned.  Don’t worry about turning the crank in the wrong direction — it only goes one way.  When it’s charged up (or when your arm grows tired, or when your horniness becomes unbearable), just snap the crank back into the base of the toy and hit the on/off toggle button.  Cycle through four increasingly intense speeds with the left button; reduce intensity with the right button.

While the lowest speed produces a low thrum, the highest gives a quite powerful sensation, comparable to that of any standard slim-line vibrator.  It was more than enough power to get me off, a lot, and the hard plastic casing made it effective as a thrusting toy as well.

I’d meant to track the time while we were in bed together, but somehow — somehow! — my attention was distracted.  I’d estimate that it buzzed at least 30 minutes on our first tentative crankings.  Later, when I was by myself, I cranked it up in a more consistent and energetic fashion.  It buzzed away merrily at top speed for a full hour.

This is amazing power for not a lot of work on the user’s part.  And if you need vibrations for longer than an hour, just take a break (who couldn’t use a break after an hour of masturbation?) and crank some more.  You don’t even have to get out of bed.

If you’re ever too lazy to crank, plug in your own USB charger to the Earth Angel.  I don’t currently have a USB charger so I could not test out this aspect of the toy.

The only problem with Earth Angel is that it’s not particularly stylish.  Minimalist, yes, but stylish, not so much.  Perhaps future incarnations will come in different colors (shiny black would be nice) or shapes.  I think a curved g-spot model would be perfect, or maybe another with a flat tip for broader clit stimulation.  Perhaps they’d even consider making a set of interchangeable tips which would fit over the original Earth Angel?

Earth Angel is highly recommended for anyone concerned about greening up their sexual practices.  It would also be great for those who camp, hike, live off the grid, experience frequent power outages or who, like me, can never manage to keep fresh batteries in the house.

It was one of those insanely hot weeks where despite the constant running of the air conditioner I was never really free from sweat.  Temperatures hit the upper 90s and humidity pushed the heat index well over 100.  It was during this time that I broke out my vibrating ice dildo from Icegasm.

It had sat in my freezer for a few weeks just waiting for the right moment.  I couldn’t bear the thought of having it near my naughty bits on anything but the very hottest of days.  But when finally the time was right, I gathered the components while my partner watched on.  “What are you going to do with that?” he asked nervously as I pulled the ice tray from the freezer.

“I’m going to put it in your ass.”  I ran warm water over the tray in an effort to dislodge the slender cubes.

“You most certainly are not!” he said, at the same time working a battery into the end of the vibrating handle.  He knew I was only kidding him — I think.  Or maybe he just knew that he could overpower me if I actually tried to put ice down his pants.

I had quite a bit of trouble freeing the ice from its tray; despite my best efforts with water and gentle coercion, two of the icicles broke off in the mold.  The other two finally came free.  A protruding screw allowed the ice to be married to the handle, which is actually a modified water-resistant pocket rocket.  Once activated, the whole contraption buzzed very gently.

We retired to the bedroom and placed the Icegasm on the bedside table. I’d intended to try it out right away but my partner had other ideas.  The toy melted silently (and surprisingly slowly) for a good hour while he warmed me up.  After a particularly inspiring round of buttsex he rolled me over, pried open my legs and applied the chilly treat to my pussy.

I can honestly say that the first second of frigid buzzing was exquisite.  The contrast between hot and cold felt amazing.  I’m pretty sure I screamed a little, in the very best of ways.  But after that first second the chill became unbearable.  I had to clap my legs together in an effort to bring my poor vulva’s temperature back to tolerable levels.

So this is what we did over the next several minutes:  One-second touches preceded twenty-second periods where I couldn’t bear to be touched.  Eventually it all got to be too much.  No amount of leg-clenching warmed me up and I had to call an end to our icy little experiment, at least to the part occurring between my legs.

On the body in general I had a lot more tolerance for cold, so not all was an utter failure.  However, I didn’t see much purpose for vibrating my arm (for example). Even on my clit I barely felt the vibrations because I was so focused on not getting frostbite.

When the ice melts, you’ll find there’s not as much mess as you might expect.  A washcloth sufficed to catch drips while the toy waited for us and a towel beneath my bottom kept the bed dry during use.  If you’re really concerned about leakage, keep Icegasm in a plastic cup before use, or try it out in the shower or bath-tub.  Come to think of it, this approach might make the cold a little more tolerable.

After playtime, wash the mold and caps in warm soapy water.  Use the mold to organize the components for later use; a convenient hole in the middle stores the vibrating handle.

I’d suggest Icegasm only for folks who really enjoy and can tolerate the exquisite torture of chilly genitals.  For everyone else, a plain old ice cube will be more than sufficient.

I was fully prepared to hate the Radiance Vibe from Babeland.  Sure it’s beautiful, but I could summon only the most moderate of expectations from any toy made by Doc Johnson.

It arrived in a clear plastic box with nary a single picture of a bikini-clad lady.  This is such a plus in my book.  I could live my entire life without seeing another bikini-clad lady on a vibrator box.  You’ll find that Radiance is completely waterproof thanks to a rubbery seal at the battery end as well as fully sealed power buttons.

Inserting the batteries was just a tiny bit fumbly and only because the cap is quite small and has such a sloping shape.  Nevertheless, the cap screwed firmly back on and could then be forgotten until it was time for a new set of batteries.

I really like Radiance’s buttons because they are dead simple to use.  The top button cycles through four increasingly powerful speeds of vibration.  No fancy patterns here, just stronger and stronger buzzing.  Need a little less power?  Push the bottom button.  Keep pushing it and the toy turns off.  Toys don’t come much simpler than this, and to my mind this is a very good thing.  No one wants to have to take a training course before using a new vibe.

The pair of AAA batteries required by Radiance power a surprisingly powerful motor.  Even better, vibrations are concentrated in the toy’s tip.  This is fabulous for really intense stimulation of the clit or g-spot.  Like things a bit less intense?  The toy’s shaft features much more gentle vibration, and it’s super-slippery-smooth.  Don’t worry about running the buttons up against your…er…button.  It just won’t be a problem.

Radiance’s shape makes g-spot stimulation a real pleasure. The curve positions the intensely buzzing tip in just the right spot without any stress or strain on the wrist. Using the toy this way made me gush quite a lot, during which I said a silent thank-you to whoever designed the waterproof aspects of this toy.

One might be tempted to take advantage of the lovely shape, smoothness and power in the ass, but I wouldn’t recommend it.  Radiance lacks a protective flange and could therefore slip all the way inside.  Choose a more appropriate toy for backdoor play.

I am almost ridiculously impressed with the beauty and functionality of Radiance.  This affordable toy should give its lucky owner lots of pleasure.

Jimmyjane’s gorgeous Little Chroma is a classic slimline vibe.  In fact it’s such a classic that we’re giving it a second look after two and a half years, and in that time some things have certainly changed.

First (and possible most importantly) the price has significantly dropped.  It used to sell for a steep $165, but now some colors can be had for less than a single benjamin.  Nifty.  If an unadorned solid color isn’t fancy enough for your favorite vagina, check out some of the artist-designed special edition versions now available at Jimmyjane.com.

One of the coolest things about Little Chroma is that if you wear out the vibrating motor, $35 will buy you a new one directly from Jimmyjane.  I’m terribly hard on my vibes (perhaps because I use them for an hour at a stretch, ahem), so I love this option.  The motor looks exactly like an AA battery, but don’t worry about tossing it out by mistake.  It’s clearly labeled in big, friendly letters.

Little Chroma is one of the quietest vibes I’ve ever experienced.  The only time it’s not nearly silent is when you first turn it on, and then only because the cap won’t be screwed down firmly enough to prevent the battery from rattling a bit.  Once you get past this point, however, the vibe cannot be heard at arm’s length.  This is an excellent quality in any vibe you’re planning on using in a shared space.

There’s a tiny hole in Little Chroma’s end through which one could thread a cord for retrieval during anal usage.  Honestly though, I wouldn’t.  Use it on the anus but not for insertion.  Your fancy vibe will lose its cachet once the emergency room doctors have removed it from your colon.

I’ve enjoyed tucking this tiny vibe into my pillow for quick wank sessions before bed.  It’s so tiny that it’s easily hidden away, but don’t let the size fool you.  Little Chroma is nicely powerful, even though there’s just one speed.  I enjoyed it the most when used in conjunction with my partner’s penetration.  The small size make it easy to position between bodies during intercourse or in conjunction with dildo play.

The only thing I didn’t like about Little Chroma is the fact that you must loosen the battery compartment cover in order to turn off the vibe.  This, to me, is a huge pain in the butt, because when I’m done with a vibe I can barely summon the wherewithal to click a single button.  Negotiating a tiny cap that threatens to fall off and set loose battery and motor to skitter across my bed (and no doubt lodge in the small of my back just when I want to get cuddly) is not very convenient.

Going too far makes the cap fall off, while not going far enough leaves the vibe buzzing so gently that you won’t even know it unless you put it down on a hard surface, in which case Little Chroma will merrily dance away and concurrently run down your batteries.  I wish the vibe had a discrete “off” position marked by a little click.  Is that too much to ask for from a high-end vibe?

Even with a sketchy off switch, I’m absolutely certain that I’ll use Little Chroma again and again.  I’ll be interested in seeing how long the motor lasts with the kind of use I can dish out.

The artisans at SteelVineyards create remarkable products from stainless steel, leather, acrylic and natural semi-precious gemstones.  From cockrings to CBT devices to restraints to some of the most interesting insertables on the market, you must check out SteelVineyards’ amazing selection of unique toys.

My fancy was instantly captivated by the company’s G-Pops.  I’d never seen anything like them before.  When mine arrived at its new home I was even more amazed.  A long steel handle lightly cushioned on one end leads to the star of the show:  A heavy stone ball on the other end in your choice of highly-polished natural gemstones such as quartz, tiger’s eye and onyx.  Mine is shiny green jade and very pretty.

It’s pretty but quite seriously heavy.  As my partner balanced the G-Pop in his hand, he worried about hurting me with it.  “Are you sure about this, baby?” he asked.  Absolutely I told him, and with only a little lube and some preliminary oral, we made ready to insert it vaginally.

I was pretty blissed out, but not so much that I was unaware of a sharp crack as my partner brought the toy toward my body.  “Are you ok?” I asked, worried that he’d chipped a tooth and would soon be going to the dentist instead of making me come.  He assured me that all was well; he’d carelessly caught his chin in the hurry to get the toy inside of me.  Let this serve as a warning.  Use care with the G-Pop around chins.  Also, toes.

2 3/8″ inches in diameter may not seem like a very large toy, but trust me when I say that it is.  Two-plus  inches would be large in a soft silicone dildo.  Two-plus inches in something made of an absolutely unyielding material?  It’s HUGE.  But my partner used extreme care, and once the G-Pop wiggled past my pubic bone it felt amazing.  There was an extreme sensation of fullness which never turned into discomfort.  The nice thing was that it didn’t interfere with oral in any way.  I loved the contrast between his gentle lips and the hard pressure of the G-Pop.

Removal needs to be done very slowly; do not yank this toy out if you value the continued integrity of your pubic bone.  But once out, the G-Pop requires little in the way of care beyond a quick soap and water bath, then storage somewhere that won’t allow it to roll away.  We’re protecting our toes, remember?  I’m assuming none of us wears steel-toed boots while gettin’ busy, although if that’s your thing, rock on dude.

The fine folks who create the SteelVineyards designs tell me that they wanted to create a toy with a handle long enough that folks could use it during solo play if desired.  This they certainly achieved; the extended handle allows one to reach the vagina or ass with no excessive gymnastics.  Furthermore, they encourage couples to experiment with penetation along with the toy.  They say the G-Pop’s thin handle allows the penis plenty of room to coexist peacefully during sex, and that the ball guides it almost magically toward the g-spot.  I was a bit nervous about trying out this aspect of the toy.  A single very large stony-hard object in my vagina at a time was quite enough, thank you very much.  I didn’t need another.

After experimenting with the G-Pop several times, I’m really pleased with the sensations it offers.  Try it out if you’re fond of hard materials and intense stimulations.  Just be careful that it doesn’t break any bones.

Wicked Tickles, a UK-based retailer of sexy supplies, gifted me with a sweet little package of goodies.  I was tickled.  Wicked tickled, even.

I might have been slightly more tickled if they’d sent me a Swarovski crystal merkin and nipple pasties set, because can you just imagine how fabulous that would have been?  I would have worn my merkin and pasties everywhere!  To the grocery store!  To the PTA meeting!  On a date!  For every sex party I’d ever attend, to the point that I’d be known as That Crazy Merkin and Pasties Girl.  Alas, they did not give me this set, so I am saved from that fate.

Instead I received three beautifully gift-wrapped items way quicker than I thought possible considering that they shipped internationally.  They were nestled in a pretty box in black tissue paper, perfect for handing off to a sexy friend.

I pulled forth from the tissue paper a saucy pair of Glamorpuss Panties in pink.  Very cute, but they were not my size.  They made a nice door-prize for a very thin girl at a sex party.  She was thrilled.

Next I discovered a very large rubbery butt-plug.  I took it from its packaging and was immediately knocked back by the odor.  Wickled Tickles says the plug is made from “silicone rubber,” but I don’t know.  It looked, felt and smelled exactly like cheap jelly.  There was no way I was putting a toy that large and that stinky in my bottom.  I put it aside, unused.

Finally I found that Wicked Tickles had sent a massager in the shape of a cute orange octopus.  I loaded Igor up with batteries and pushed the perky green button on his head.  He roared into life and provided a quite nice little buzz on my naughty bits.  Later that night gave my pal a nice little rubdown with Igor and some massage oil.  Fun times were had by all.

Wicked Tickles stocks some really gorgeous products, not the least of which is the aforementioned merkin and pasty set.  I wish they had seen fit to inquire as to which of their many fabulous wares would best suit my body and temperament.  While the items they sent were nice enough, I could not use two-thirds of them to their full extent and therefore cannot adequately comment on their usefulness, durability or pleasure-giving properties.

Far be it for anyone to accuse me of being greedy with my sex-toy choices.  Oh no!  As much as I possibly can, I solicit toys that can be used by my pals.  I do this not only for the sake of variety, but also because watching them get off is just cool.

To that end, I asked GoodVibrations to send me California Exotics’ Turbo Stroker.  I was hoping that I’d be able to watch my partner’s cock getting stroked inside while I did other naughty things to the rest of his body.  Alas, it was not to be.

But first a quick description.  The Turbo Stroker looks like a very large pepper grinder.  Removing the upper half-inch of the black portion exposes a nifty battery cradle, which made powering up the device easy.  A set of simple buttons allow the user to increase speed of stroking and strength of vibration.

I gave the Stroker a bit of a dry run.  Even with nothing inside the nubby gray sleeve, it moved up and down less than an inch.  I wanted to get an idea of the suction power the product could generate, so I gamely stuck it to my stomach.

Nothing.  I felt no suction whatsoever.  Hm, I could have sworn the box promised suction.  I checked back.  The box actually to help the user “get it up,” which I guess isn’t the same as suction.  However, the Stroker does generate ample vibration.  Ample LOUD vibration.  Even alone in the house I felt certain someone could overhear.

But I still held on to some hope that my guy would enjoy it.  Once I had him in bed, I got him hard in my usual inimitable fashion, drizzled a good water-based lube all over him, and slid the sleeve down over his shaft.

At first he said it felt great.  We turned on the vibrations gradually, and he got that look on his face.  You know the look, right?  The look like your partner is about to eat you alive?  Yep, he had that look.  But once we turned on the stroking function, that look turned to confusion.

Confusion, because the stroking did essentially nothing.  Even on the highest speed it did little more than jiggle around the tip of his penis.  It did NOT move up and down over his shaft.  Not even a little bit.

And the noise, oh boy the noise.  With my pal’s big dick sunk deeply in the sleeve, the Stroker sounded like a vacuum cleaner.  You would not want to use this in a house with roommates.  Unless you wanted them to giggle and point outside the door.

Furthermore, the Stroker did not fully accommodate my partner’s bid’ness.  Even jamming it all the way in, he had a good 2″ overhang.  An average-to-smaller sized penis will fit, but anything larger will be left out in the cold.

You might expect that something designed for average length would also feature average girth.  Instead, the Stroker sleeve is a solid 2″ wide.  Most men are not 2″ wide.  In other words, don’t expect a very tight fit with this product.

As if all this weren’t enough, we managed to break the toy twice in our very short testing session.  Twice his less-than-enthusiastic thrusting dislodged the top of the sleeve from its attachment to the motor.  We were able to reattach it both times, but that really wasn’t what we wanted to be doing right then.

GoodVibrations has many amazing, unique, quality toys.  Unfortunately, the Turbo Stroker just isn’t one of them.

The Big Foot Case from For Your Nymphomation will solve almost all of your toy storage needs.

At about the size of a standard toiletries case, the Big Foot Case will easily round up a whole family of vibrators, dildos or other fun accessories.  The base consists of a large open area with two pockets and two elastic loops lining the sides.  The product’s lid houses another elastic loop, perfect for a rolled up hand towel, piece of lingerie or one last sex toy.

The Big Foot Case is considerably deeper than many other toy storage cases.  This is a really nice characteristic because you can store bottles of lube or massage oil standing up, reducing the chances that you’ll end up with hot-cinnamon-scented butt lube all over your entire toy box, if you know what I’m saying.

A tiny silver lock decorated with the company logo is included, as is a pair of keys.  The zipper pulls are glow in the dark, which is just insanely useful if you’re gettin’ busy in the dark and you need the very last condom from your Big Foot Case.  Not that I’m speaking from personal experience here.  Nope.  Just surmising.

Currently, my Big Foot contains: Chemistry IV, a small bottle of lube, a metal box filled with condoms, one glass buttplug, two glass dildos, a large silicone vibrator, a wooden dildo, a silicone dildo, a leather dildo, a rubber whip, and a set of silk bondage scarves in a carrying bag.  Oh, and a cock ring with its recharger.

Some might call this excessive.  I call it “a good Tuesday night.”

One criticism I had in the past with FYN’s cases was the locking mechanism.  It was unfortunately not the most secure thing in the world; simply twisting one small jump ring would allow the lock to slide right off.

I’m happy to say that this flaw has been rectified in the new generation of FYN cases, including the Big Foot.  Four small sturdy metal loops slide together, ensuring that the lock cannot be pried off.  This makes the case much less vulnerable to attacks by curious children or in-laws.

Check out the rest of For Your Nymphomation’s wares for even more toy storage solutions.  Their line runs from tiny condom cases to extra-large rolling toy chests, along with speciality BDSM cases perfect for floggers or canes.  They even sell an innocent all-white bridal collection.

I’ve had so much fun with my classic Acuvibe that I was curious to see how the Acuvibe Mini compared to its big bad brother — and to other rechargeable vibes.

Mini arrives in a simple cardboard box which alludes to its helpfulness in soothing “stiff” muscles.  This makes me giggle.  The usage booklet instructed me to charge the vibe for at least eight hours before gettin’ busy.  Blast.  I wanted to use it right away.  But I wanted even more to keep its rechargeablity in good running order, so I obediently followed the directions.

Connecting the recharger to the back of Mini required a bit of fiddling.  I was unsure if the cord was facing the right direction, but once I had it, there was a clear “click” to show that it was seated correctly.  A soft blue light glows in Mini’s base while it’s charging.

At about 75% of the original’s size but with the same clean, slick lines, Mini would be ideal for traveling or for those who worry about maneuvering a larger, heavier toy.  While the original Acuvibe has decorative indentations around the head, Mini’s head is perfectly smooth.  As a prodigious gusher, I was happy to have one less thing to clean up after playtime.

Eight hours of charging gave me approximately 30 minutes of playtime the first time through.  I wasn’t too thrilled with this, so I made certain that Mini had completely discharged, then plugged it in again.  After a full day’s charging, Mini outlasted me during our next play session.  I’ve had no trouble with Mini keeping up with me since.

Mini has but one speed, which even my poor abused clit found more than sufficient for many hard orgasms.  If you’re used to battery-powered vibes, you’ll probably find Mini’s power to be excessive at first.  It takes some getting used to.  I’ve had the best luck by making sure to use a good lube so that Mini’s plastic head can slide easily over the skin.

Don’t expect romance from Mini.  It gives hard, fast, powerful orgasms.  Save the hearts and flowers for times when you’re snuggled up with a gentler vibe.

Let’s recap.  The Acuvibe Mini needs no batteries.  It’s lightweight, portable and super-powerful.  And to top it all off, it comes with a one-year manufacturer’s warranty.  This is pretty much perfect in my book.

Not long ago I had the pleasure of trying out the Pyrexions.com prototype dildo pictured above.  Study that picture for a moment, won’t you?  Can you visualize how insanely useful such a thing might be?

You can’t?  You say you’re having trouble figuring out how all those knobby bits line up with your tingly bits?  Let me ’splain.

The longest piece is intended to fill the vagina.  The inward-facing ball can then nestle against the clit or be turned to stimulate the ass.  Depending on your preference, it can be fully inserted or left to gently nudge the anus.  The ball on the opposing side then becomes the handle.

For male-bodied folks, the center section can be used anally.  External prostate stimulation can then be provided by the inward-facing ball.   This same position can of course be used by female-bodied people; the ball would in that circumstance stimulate the outer portion of the vagina.

I had a lot of fun with the longer prong in my pussy and the ball barely grazing my bottom.  In the past I’ve felt like my naughty bits didn’t quite line up right with other toys meant for multiple insertions, but this toy proved to be an exception.

Lest you worry about the piece’s size, let me assure you that it is quite manageable.  If you’ve had anything in your ass before, this should present no issues.

As is the case with every glass toy, lube is your friend.  Use it.  It’s lovely for the vagina but absolutely crucial for the behind.  A good silicone lube is my preference because it stays slippery for hours, but a high-quality water-based lube like Sliquid will work almost as well.

The only drawback with a toy like this would be in forgetting basic sexual hygiene because of the enticing flexibility of the piece.  If you use one portion of the toy in the ass (or even against the ass), it must be washed in hot soapy water before it’s used again in the vagina.  If it’s used on one partner, it must be cleaned before it’s passed on to another partner.  You might be tempted to forget these rules when confronted with such versatile fun, but your favorite vagina will thank you for remembering.

Check out Pyrexions.com for more incredible glass dildos, juicers and Kegel toys.  I’m hoping this product shows up among their wares very soon!